Holding Mia Read online

  “That’s your ex?” Jordan asked, and I could only nod, knowing if I opened my mouth to answer, I was going to vomit at his feet. “Damn. No wonder you’re so torn up over him.”

  Barrick got all the way to the door that opened into the cage before stopping, his dark eyes zeroing in on me. As I watched, his body started to relax a little…

  Until his eyes landed on Jordan—who was still using his body protectively to shield me from Ridge. Barrick’s head snapped back as if he’d just been punched, and he took a step back before righting himself.

  I’d brought Jordan in an attempt to get exactly that reaction from Barrick. If it was possible, I wanted to make him hurt as badly as he’d made me hurt. But now that I was witnessing it firsthand, I felt no pleasure in it. Seeing the pain flash in his eyes only made me hurt more, and my eyes began to sting with tears.

  Tender fingers brushed a few locks of hair back from my face before Jordan lifted my chin so I had to meet his eyes. “Hey, no tears,” he chided gently. “I’ll have to go kick his ass if you cry.”

  His threat had my lips tilting upward in a tiny smile. “Idiot,” I choked out.

  The cage door shut with a slam, drawing my attention back to Barrick. He was standing just inside, his tormented gaze devouring me.

  Moments later, the ref entered, and in no time, the fight began, but neither man moved. Barrick’s eyes dared me to look away, but I couldn’t. All week, as he’d followed me from dorm to class to work and back again, I hadn’t allowed myself to look at him for more than a second or two at a time. Now, my eyes were hungry for just the sight of him.

  He was so focused on me, he didn’t see Ridge coming until a helpless cry left me when I saw the other fighter moving up behind him.

  Barrick turned and punched Ridge in the face.

  And he collapsed. His legs went slack and he fell back, his eyes closed. I’d heard the term “glass jaw,” but I’d never seen it before. Ridge had been so intimidating, he’d scared me more than a little. But one hit to his jaw and he was out cold.

  The crowd was going crazy around me as the ref tried to revive Ridge, and after a good thirty seconds or so, the big man lifted his head, still dazed, confusion wrinkling his brow.

  Once the winner was declared, Barrick walked out of the cage and right up to me. He didn’t even spare Jordan a glance as he bent and lifted me over his shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I screeched. “Put me down.”

  “No,” he snarled, walking toward the door he’d come out of only minutes before.

  I looked to where Jordan was still sitting, a bemused grin on his face. He gave me a salute, mouthed, “Have fun,” and sat back, looking for all the world like he was relaxed.

  “Some friend you are!” I yelled just as Barrick walked through the door and toward the locker room Lyla had taken me to that first night I’d met him.

  The door shut loudly behind us, and he turned to flip the lock before putting me on my feet and backing me against the door. “Who the fuck was that?” he demanded, putting his face close to mine.

  “Jordan,” I said with a shrug, not in the least bit intimidated by him. He could go out there and beat up a hundred guys in the cage, but I knew in my heart he would never lift so much as a finger in violence toward me.

  “Your best friend, that Jordan?” I nodded, but he didn’t back away. “You fucked him.”

  I just stood there, not answering him. I didn’t want to think about the time I nearly messed up my relationship with my best friend, and I didn’t want to lie to Barrick about it, so I just kept my mouth shut.

  But that was all the confirmation he needed.

  “How many times?” His voice had lost that edge, but there was something in his eyes that took me completely by surprise. Vulnerability.

  “Once.”

  “Once since he got to town, or once period?” The pain and jealousy lacing his voice had me putting my hand on his chest, right over his heart. A heart that was pounding against his rib cage.

  “Once—period,” I answered honestly. “I told you, it was a mistake. One neither of us wants to repeat. He’s just my friend, Barrick.”

  One of his huge hands covered mine, pressing it closer. “Baby, I miss you. I haven’t slept since Saturday. Food tastes like trash, so I don’t eat. I need you back, Mia.” Closing his eyes, he touched his forehead to mine, his confession tearing me apart. “I don’t know how much longer I can survive without you.”

  My fingers curled in the material of his shirt, but as they did, my nails scraped over something beneath. Frowning, I jerked my hand out of his hold and tugged his shirt up to reveal a large white bandage taped over his left pectoral.

  “What happened?” I cried, concerned.

  “Nothing. It’s nothing,” he brushed it off, but I couldn’t breathe, thinking he was hurt and he was making light of it.

  I tugged up one corner of the tape and pulled back the bandage. My knees went weak when I saw what he’d done to himself.

  Barrick, my strong cage fighter who didn’t even blink when it came to facing down scary-as-hell guys wanting to beat in his face, was scared of needles. It was something Braxton had teased him about one night, and I’d thought it was adorable. My big, burly Beast was terrified of a little bitty needle.

  That was why his body was free of ink, unlike Braxton’s.

  Or it had been.

  A fresh tattoo was now glowing on his chest. It looked like a starburst, the colors exploding right over his heart.

  “Wh-what’s this?” I whispered.

  “A firecracker,” he rasped, his dark eyes watching me, waiting.

  A firecracker.

  Me.

  I was his firecracker, and he’d tattooed me permanently on his body.

  He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t really care, would he? Barrick faced his fear of needles, sat through what must have been at least an hour and a half of them, just to put a piece of me on him for life.

  Swallowing the lump that had filled my throat, I carefully traced my index finger around the outside of the tattoo. “When?”

  “Right after I walked you to work tonight, I had it done.” Cupping his hand around mine, he brought it to his lips, kissing my palm. That gentle brush of his lips over my flesh was enough to make me ache, a delicious shiver taking hold of my entire body. Need charged his eyes, and he pressed his lower body hard against me, letting me feel he was just as turned on. “Do you…like it?”

  My legs opened, making my dress rise up my thighs so he could press his hard-on where I wanted it the most. He bent his knees, and he gave me exactly what I wanted, pinning me to the door with his lower body as his cock flexed against my core. “I love your tattoo,” I moaned.

  “Baby, you’re killing me. I want to be inside you so damn bad right now.” He kissed my forehead, and my eyes instantly filled with tears.

  I missed his forehead kisses so much.

  “I can feel how wet you are already,” he groaned, kissing his way down to my lips, where he licked at the seam, silently begging me to give him entrance. My mouth opened, letting him inside. “Have you been aching for me every night, firecracker? Do you lie awake in your lonely bed and wish I was beside you? Touching this perfect little pussy? Making you mine over and over again?”

  “Oh gods,” I whimpered, rubbing my sex against him in an attempt to alleviate the throb that was making it impossible to think about anything but coming on his cock. “Barrick, please.”

  “Please what, baby?” His lips were on my neck now, his teeth scraping over the sensitive skin just under my jaw, something he knew drove me out of my mind with need for him.

  “I want you,” I whined.

  “I want you too,” he breathed at my ear. “But if I put my cock in you now, I’m not ever letting you go again. I won’t let you walk out that door without me. You’ll come home with me tonight, and you won’t ever fucking leave me again.”


  A heavy fist pounding on the door I was pressed against shot vibrations down my spine and straight to my core. Neither of us understood there was another person on the other side until the pounding came again, along with a voice I didn’t recognize.

  “Yo, Beast. This pussy out here ain’t going to fuck itself. I got you one of every flavor, just like you told me to, bro.”

  My next breath was painful to inhale. I pushed angrily at Barrick’s shoulders, and he was so surprised, he actually stumbled back a step. That was all the room I needed before I was scrubbing the back of one hand over my mouth and unlocking the door with the other.

  Jerking the door open, I had two seconds to take in the guy blocking my way. Military-style haircut, hazel eyes, a sly grin on his handsome face, and a body as muscular and fit as Barrick’s was. Just looking at him, I knew he was one of the Underground fighters.

  I ducked under his arm just as Barrick came to his senses and tried to grab for me. Whoever the guy who’d just saved me was, he didn’t let Barrick past to run after me, and for that, I was grateful.

  “Mia!” Barrick roared behind me just as I reached for the door that led out to the crowd. “Mia, come back here. He was just fucking around. Mia! Get the hell out of my way, Thorn. Mia, please.”

  I ignored him, unsure if I believed him or not. He had confused me, and if whoever that was hadn’t interrupted us when he did, I might have given in and let him have everything he’d been asking for if only to have him fuck me.

  Even though my heart had wanted me to give in too.

  Chapter 22

  Barrick

  Thorn lost that smug-ass grin as soon as I put my fist through it. Head snapping back, he laughed, knowing he deserved it.

  “I was two seconds away from getting my life back, and you had to pull this shit. If I didn’t want to deal with Judge’s shit, I’d beat the hell out of you right now!” I yelled in his face before shoving him out of my way and running after Mia.

  I knew she had been about to give in and take me back. I could feel it in the way her body trembled against mine, how her breath caught when I whispered in her ear that if I put my cock in her, I wasn’t ever letting her go again. Thorn’s little prank ruined it all and sent Mia running all over again.

  Everyone was still either heading for the door or standing around in large groups talking about the fight, or rather, lack of one. Ridge was a power hitter, but his jaw was as fragile as they came. I knew it would only take a well-placed uppercut and it would be over. He wasn’t going to be happy when he was finally thinking clearly again.

  Pushing through the crowd in search of my girl, I finally saw her as she was dragging her friend away from two groupies. Jordan had a pout on his face, but when I caught sight of Mia’s, it was completely blank.

  “I can’t believe she brought another guy here tonight,” Lyla complained, stepping in my way and blocking my path to Mia.

  “That’s her friend,” I tossed out, pushing some guy out of my way to get around my cousin.

  “Jordan?” she said with a frown, following me.

  “That’s what she said,” I answered, quickening my pace.

  “Oh, that’s okay, then.”

  For her, maybe. I still wasn’t happy that the only other guy Mia’d had sex with was also her best friend. I hated that anyone other than me had touched her, let alone known the nirvana of her body as I had. If I didn’t know she loved me, and only me, I already would have been burying that Jordan guy’s body where no one would ever find it.

  By the time I got outside, Mia and her friend were nowhere to be seen. “Mia,” I yelled as I turned in a circle in hopes of finding her. “Mia!”

  “Just go to her dorm. That’s probably where she’s headed right now. All week, she’s been hiding out there,” Lyla reminded me.

  “My keys are back in the locker room,” I said with a groan.

  “So, take Howler’s,” she said with a roll of her eyes, handing over the keys to his Suburban. “We’ll take your Jeep and drop Braxton off on our way home.”

  “Thanks,” I tossed at her over my shoulder, already sprinting for my friend’s SUV.

  Just as I was running up to the entrance to Mia’s dorm, a group of girls came out, and I took advantage of the open door to sneak inside. Taking the stairs so the woman at the front desk wouldn’t see me, I raced up the steps to her floor.

  The hall was empty, unlike on my last visit, and I knocked on Mia’s door. “Mia, open up.” There was no answer, so I tried the handle. It was locked, but there was nothing to picking it, making me grit my teeth at how simple it would be for anyone to break in to her room.

  With the lock taken care of, I opened the door, only to find her room empty. Hoping she was just caught in traffic or her friend had talked her into stopping for dinner, I dropped down onto her bed to wait.

  Grabbing her pillow, I lifted it to my face, inhaling her sweet scent. That calmed some of the ache in my chest but not all of it. I fell back across the mattress, my feet hanging off the end of the bed, and held her pillow to my chest, wishing it were her.

  I missed waking up beside her every morning. I missed hearing her laugh, even when I wasn’t the one producing it. I missed how messy she was and how I was constantly picking up her clothes off the floor of our bedroom. Fuck, I even missed the way she whined and complained when things weren’t going her way.

  I missed her.

  Having her scent all around me, lying where she’d slept every night that week, had my eyes feeling heavy. I hadn’t been blowing smoke earlier about not sleeping or eating. I couldn’t stomach food the entire week, and sleep was elusive. All I did was lie in our bed every night, wishing she were beside me, and cursing myself for having been so stupid I’d lost the girl who’d owned a part of my soul from the first time I’d set eyes on her in the flesh.

  I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, someone was putting their keys in the lock. I blinked open my eyes just as the door opened and Mia walked in. A glance at the digital clock on her nightstand told me it was 10:34 a.m.

  “Barrick?” she muttered in disbelief as she stared at me on her bed.

  “Where the fuck have you been all night?” I rasped out, sitting up and stretching to get the kinks out of my muscles.

  She shrugged, tossing her bag on the other bed and walking toward the closet. “I stayed with Jordan at his hotel.”

  That had me on my feet and caging her in against the closet door. “You slept with Jordan last night?” I growled once I’d turned her to face me.

  She rolled her green eyes at me. “No, idiot. I slept there, not with Jordan. There were two beds.”

  My relief did nothing to stop the jealousy from eating me up inside, but I pushed that away so I could talk to her about the night before. “Don’t fucking run away from me like that again. Thorn was just messing around. He’s bad about pulling pranks on people, and he knows he can get away with it too because we’re not supposed to fight outside the cage.”

  “So, there weren’t a variety of flavors of pussy waiting for you?” she sassed, and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to kiss her.

  “No. And it wouldn’t have mattered if there were. The only pussy I want is yours.” Grasping her hips in both my hands, I lifted her until my hard-as-stone cock was pressing right into her center. She was still in that killer dress from the night before, and all that protected her pussy like this was a thin layer of panties.

  Mia dug her nails into my shoulders, wrapping her legs around my waist. “Did…Did you sleep here all night?”

  “Told you I wasn’t sleeping well. Your scent is all over your pillows and covers. I passed out and only just now woke up.”

  Her eyes softened, and I felt her fingers stroking the back of my neck. “You must have been exhausted.”

  “It’s exhausting being without you,” I told her honestly, touching my lips to her forehead. She shivered, and I fought
a triumphant smile. I could kiss her a million times on the mouth, yet she would still react more to a forehead kiss than one on her succulent lips.

  “I-I haven’t slept well lately, either,” she confessed in a sad, quiet voice, breaking my heart.

  “I’m so sorry, baby. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would. I hate myself for hurting you. Please…” I begged, my voice choked with emotion. “Please, firecracker. Can we start over?”

  “I don’t want to start over,” she said, and my heart stopped. Tears burned the backs of my eyes, and I couldn’t blink them away fast enough before they began to fall.

  “Baby—”

  “But I do want to move forward. I…” She exhaled heavily. “I think I can forgive you. At least, I want to. Because I’m tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I miss you so much, Barrick.” Cupping my jaw in each hand, she wiped away my tears with her thumbs. “I love you.”

  Hearing those three words I’d been aching for sent me over the edge. A sob left me, and I fell to my knees with her still in my arms. She squealed but held on tight. Not that I would have dropped her. Even when my legs couldn’t support me, I would make sure she was safe.

  “Barrick?” she breathed. “Are you okay?”

  I shook my head, trying to regain some semblance of control, but I was shaking too hard even to come close. “I’m s-sorry,” I sobbed, burying my face in her neck and taking us completely down to the floor.

  As her back touched the carpet, she unwound her legs from around me, but she kept them spread so that I could settle between them. When my hard-on pressed into her core, we both groaned.

  Mia stroked her fingers through my beard with one hand and cupped the back of my head with the other, trying to soothe me. “I thought you would be happy I told you I love you,” she murmured.

  “I am,” I choked out. “So damn happy, I can’t control this shit right now. I love you, baby. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Mia. I’ve been lost without you, and now…” I cleared my throat and lifted my head, needing her to know how serious I was. “Now, I feel whole again, and I don’t know how to contain all this happiness.”