Surviving His Scars (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 4) Read online

  Goodbye, G.

  Monroe

  The paper fell to the floor without my realizing as I stared down at the medallion hanging from the chain in my hand. She had realized there was a microphone.

  Which meant she really did know she was talking to me all those times…

  Fuck.

  And now I didn’t know where she was.

  I sucked in a deep, calming breath that did nothing to ease the tightness in my chest or the constriction around my heart.

  Unacceptable.

  I needed to hear her voice. Her heart beating. I needed to know she was safe. That no one had harmed her. No one had taken my precious one from me.

  I would find her.

  Chapter 1

  Monroe

  The music was thumping so loud, it was as if it had moved into my chest, making my heart dance to the bass.

  It was equal parts irritating and soothing. Irritating because I wasn’t a fan of the music the DJ was playing. Soothing in that it gave my heart a break from aching over something I had no business wanting.

  I shouldn’t have dreamed of being with him. Shouldn’t have let myself think I even had a chance. Just because he was my real-life superhero, dropping everything to save me whenever things got dicey, literally saving my life over and over again, didn’t mean G belonged to me.

  I’d fallen for a figment of my own imagination. Imagining there was more to him protecting me.

  My naïveté knew no bounds, dreaming of a future with a guy I’d only seen randomly over a four-year period.

  Blame it on all the books I read. All those strong alpha men who would do anything to protect the women they loved. Even if that was what it felt like G was doing, I should have known better.

  I lifted my hand, my fingers searching for the medallion. When I didn’t feel it, they began to tremble, and I quickly blinked back the tears that were suddenly blinding, reminding myself yet again this was for the best.

  I needed to let G go. Move on and forget all about him.

  “You want some chocolate?” Maverick asked from where he was sitting across from me with River on his lap.

  I nearly laughed at the look on my brother’s face. He was kind of adorable when he was trying to take care of me. Apparently he thought I was on my period and that was why I was being emotional and moody. If he knew it was because my heart was broken into a million pieces in my chest, he would have lost his mind, gotten one of Daddy’s guns, and killed anyone he thought was the culprit behind my pain.

  He was just like our dad, especially when it came to protecting us girls.

  Which was why I was never going to tell him a single thing about G, and I trusted both Mila and River to keep their mouths shut about him too. I kept plenty of secrets for the two of them, so I knew my most important one was safe with those two.

  “We doing anything about Mila or what?” Max asked my brother as he sat down beside him on the couch. Lifting his beer, he glanced over at the bar where Mila had gone to get herself a drink.

  I followed his gaze, noting how close my twin was standing to some thickly muscled beast of a guy. But the lighting in the club was too dim for me to make out his features. All I could tell was that from the way she was standing, she was very, very interested.

  Maverick started to tilt his head in our sister’s direction, but River pulled his head down, whispering something in his ear that had his full and undivided attention. “Nope,” Mav told Max. “Let her have some fun. She can take care of herself. Where is she going to go with Volkov’s men watching everyone’s every move?”

  “Whatever you say, man. She’s your sister.” He tipped back his beer, draining it before reaching for another in the huge ice chest beside the couch. Before leaning back, he glanced at me. “You thirsty, Monroe? You want a beer? Something else? I’ll get it for you.”

  I tried to smile for him, but from the way his lips pressed into a hard line, I figured I didn’t pull it off. “No thanks,” I told him, curling my legs up under me. “I’m good.”

  The champagne I’d had with Tavia and the other girls earlier had made me dizzy, causing my plan to drink away my heartache to fly right out of the window. I was such a flipping lightweight, whereas Mila could have drunk a shot of everything behind the bar and still been able to walk straight. Probably.

  Around me, everyone seemed to be having a good time, but soon I wasn’t paying attention. I was surrounded by people, but I felt as if I were all alone. I missed G, missed the feel of the necklace against my skin, hated that I couldn’t talk to him.

  Only a year or so before, I realized there was a microphone in the medallion. At first, I’d been upset, thinking maybe he was using me to spy on my family. Or rather, Daddy and the MC. But then I realized if that was the point, then why did he continually save me? Why hadn’t he done something with the information he was no doubt privy to by that point?

  That was when I’d started talking to him, needing to be a part of his day in some way, even if it did look like I was insane talking to an empty room. More recently, however, I’d been asking more of him. Not just how his day was or if he was okay.

  I wanted to know when he was finally going to come for me.

  The continued silence I’d received on that particular question told me loud and clear all I needed to know.

  He was never going to come for me.

  Hours passed. Mila was gone, off with the guy she’d met at the bar after telling me to cover for her. She promised she would be back at the mansion to get ready for the wedding. Maverick was so lost in River, he didn’t even notice Mila was gone. The others seemed to be taking his lead on what to do where she was concerned, so they didn’t mention the fact that she was MIA.

  Tavia and the two Donati sisters had already joined us, but they were mingling with the others in our party and some of the VIPs who weren’t with us. Theo was glued to Tavia’s side, but just before midnight, she was ready to go.

  I was all too happy to go back to the mansion with her and fall into bed, but first, I needed the bathroom. Groaning because my muscles felt stiff from sitting in one spot for so long, I got to my feet, telling River I was going to stop in the ladies’ room before we left.

  She barely pulled her mouth free of my brother long enough to garble out a “’kay,” before her lips were locked on his again.

  There was a line in the ladies’ room, but it moved fairly quickly, and I was on my way out the door within a few minutes. As I moved to the side to let another girl in, my phone alerted me that I had a text. Sighing, I pulled it out of my jeans pocket.

  My eyes were on my phone screen and not where I was going, shaking my head at the picture of my sister getting a tattoo from the guy she’d left with earlier. Daddy was going to have a total fit. He didn’t care how much ink we got, but he had to be the artist. A tattoo was forever—unless you got it lasered off—and he didn’t trust anyone but himself to put it there. It was his only rule when it came to any of us getting a tattoo, and Mom agreed with him.

  He was going to go into a total rage, but knowing Mila, she would get him on her side in ten minutes flat.

  Another girl passed me, and I stopped, letting her by and taking a look around. I felt the oddest sensation at the base of my skull, one that screamed someone was watching me. But the narrow hallway that led to the ladies’ room was empty except for me and the girl the door had just closed behind.

  “I’m going insane,” I muttered, but my hand went straight for my medallion.

  Only to wrap around nothing.

  Tears burned my eyes yet again, and I leaned back against the wall, sucking in one deep breath after another as I fought not to break down.

  I never should have taken off the necklace. It was everything to me, and I’d just left it at home like it was nothing.

  “Your tears gut me, precious.”

  I jerked, convinced I was imagining it. I pressed my hand to my chest, hoping to ease the ache hearing his voice brought. Out of the sha
dows, his big, scarred hand covered mine, holding it against the pounding of my heart. Then the rest of him materialized out of the darkness.

  As he’d been every other time I’d been able to see him, he was dressed from head to toe in black. Boots, pants, thin long-sleeved shirt with the hood pulled up over his head—shielding his scarred face from me. His palm felt rough with calluses, but his touch was gentle.

  “G,” I whispered his name and was thankful the wall was at my back. Otherwise, my weak knees already would have given out and I would have fallen at his feet.

  His other hand went to my hip, holding me in place as he stepped closer, blanketing me in his darkness as another girl walked by. She didn’t seem to notice us, as if we weren’t even there.

  “You left me,” he growled, pressing his forehead against mine and breathing in deeply. “Never do it again.”

  “I—” But I didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want me the way I wanted him, so what was the point? I couldn’t continue to wear out my heart on him, slowly dying a little more every day without him. I wanted more than just for him to save me when I got into trouble.

  I wanted…everything.

  He tightened his fingers around my hand. “No,” he said in a voice that had grown deeper, almost animalistic. “You left me, and I lost my mind looking for you. You will never do that to me again. Do you hear me, precious?”

  “You don’t want me,” I whispered, stuck between hurt and angry with him. Did he want to torture me with what I couldn’t have? Was that the whole point to all of this? To make me suffer?

  If so, then it was working. He was winning. Because I couldn’t ever remember hurting so badly in my entire life.

  Releasing my hand, he lifted both of his and placed something around my neck. “Don’t ever take this off again, Monroe.” His voice dared me to defy him.

  I wrapped my fingers around the comforting feel of the medallion hanging from its chain.

  G stepped back. I could feel him slipping away from me before he even turned to go, and the anger won. “If you go—if you leave me—I’ll run. You won’t ever find me.”

  His head reared back as if I’d slapped him. “Do not test me, precious. You are pushing for too much. There are things you don’t know.”

  “I don’t care,” I cried, taking a step forward. When he took one back, as if he couldn’t bear for me to be so close, my heart broke all over again. “I don’t care,” I whispered. “I want to be with you, G. Nothing else matters. Please.”

  His face twisted as if he were in physical pain, and I had to swallow a sob. “Take me with you,” I begged, tears spilling down my face.

  “I cannot,” he growled, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

  Something in me shattered. I felt utterly broken as my tears fell so fast, my vision blurred. Reaching for the chain of the necklace, I jerked it off, breaking the clasp, and dropped it on the floor between us. “Goodbye, G.”

  He stood there, frozen, but I couldn’t see his face through my tears. Blindly, I pressed my hand to the wall to guide myself away from him, but still, I stumbled as I tried to put as much distance between us, as fast as I could.

  I’d barely taken a handful of steps before he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Don’t do this,” he breathed against my ear, the heat of his breath on my skin making me shiver.

  I wanted to lean back into him, absorb his strength and warmth, beg him never to let me go again.

  But I’d already begged once. I wouldn’t do it again.

  Chapter 2

  Gian

  Don’t go. Don’t leave. Don’t do this.

  I wanted to shout, beg on my knees if I had to. I would do it if that was what it took for her to put the necklace back on and never do this to me again. Anything…but what she was asking. I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

  If I did, she would only grow to hate me, and I couldn’t watch what she felt for me turn cold and empty.

  “I love you.” A sob left her, making my knees weak.

  Fuck, but I’d longed to hear those three words from her lips. They soothed and healed something within me, but if I returned them as I longed to, it would only cause her more pain in the end.

  Time sped by, and when I kept my mouth clamped shut, refusing to give her the words I knew she ached for, she jerked away from me.

  This time, I let her go.

  When some drunk girl came down the narrow corridor, I faded back into the shadows before she could even see me. I left the way I came, through a back entrance and out into the humid city night. Coming to New York was dangerous for me. If any of my enemies knew I was within a hundred miles of the state, they would have every available man out hunting for me.

  But once I’d unlocked the GPS on Monroe’s phone, and then her sister’s just for good measure, and saw she was in New York City, there was no threat strong enough to keep me from going to her.

  The entire flight across the country, I’d gone back and forth with myself. I needed to take her with me, lock her away in the villa in Tuscany so no one could get to her. Keep her safe. I would give her enough love, time, and affection that she would never want to go back to her family. Only to realize moments later that, no matter how much I loved her, she would hate me once she found out who I really was.

  The son of the monster who’d nearly killed her beloved cousin, Lexa. Enzo Fontana’s blood flowed through my veins. The man who had disfigured beautiful Lexa’s face—who had also given me a scar to look at in the mirror every day—had given me life.

  Monroe would never want to be with me once she knew.

  No, it was better for her if she wasn’t with me. If she never knew the horrors my bloodline was capable of.

  Because the darkness that had lived in that sick motherfucker lived within me.

  Protecting Monroe was my only solace in life. As long as she was safe, I could go through the motions of everyday life. I would protect her from every danger, every evil that tried to touch my precious one.

  Including myself.

  Sticking to the shadows, I watched from the alley as Monroe stepped out onto the street with her honorary cousin River and the Donati sisters. From my peripheral, I could see Theo Volkov kissing his bride, the men who were always with them watching for every possible danger to their boss and his woman. Several other men, the Donati sisters’ security detail, stood at the limo, hands on the guns under their jackets as if they expected someone to try to take the two redheads from them at any moment.

  But as vigilant as all of them were, they didn’t even sense me. I’d been trained from birth to blend into the shadows. It was safer there. In the darkness where not even a single shaft of light could penetrate, I was the greatest evil lurking.

  River tucked her hand through Monroe’s arm, placing her head on my precious one’s shoulder. I saw her lips move, asking if Monroe was okay, and she got a shake in the negative.

  I clutched at the bricks against my back, desperate to hold on so I wouldn’t storm forward, creating an all-out war zone that would only put my girl in direct danger.

  The sisters got into the limo, and then River followed. But as Monroe started to duck her head to enter, she turned, and her eyes locked right on to where I was standing. There was no way she could see me in the darkness, yet she didn’t look away.

  A single tear spilled over her thick lashes, shredding what was left of my sanity, but she dashed it away with the tips of her fingers before closing her eyes and releasing a heavy breath. When her eyes opened again, the gray orbs glittered with unshed tears, and she stepped into the limo.

  Moments later, Tavia got in behind her. The door was shut firmly, and two men got into the front of the limo, while the others returned to the blacked-out SUVs that would follow them back to the mansion Scarlett Donati shared with her brother, Cristiano Vitucci.

  Once Monroe was behind those closed gates, I wouldn’t be able to touch her. But that didn’t stop me from following them.

&
nbsp; As I sat in my car outside the wall of the Vitucci compound, my fist tightly wrapped around the chain of Monroe’s necklace, I was able to think a little clearer.

  I’d picked up the necklace after she’d tossed it on the floor. I would have to replace the chain as the clasp was unfixable, but I would return it to its rightful place around her neck.

  Chapter 3

  Monroe

  I wasn’t naïve enough to think my parents would allow me to go to Italy alone without someone watching me. Even if it was from a distance, I knew eyes would be on me and reporting back to my mom and dad.

  Why else would Daddy have a meltdown over me going to college on the other side of the country, but was completely calm when he offered to send me to the one place I’d always dreamed of going for a few weeks?

  I felt so bad after upsetting him when I told them all I had chosen Princeton, I’d eventually given in and agreed to going to Italy. At least I’d be able to get away from everything for a short while. And even if there were someone following me around, they wouldn’t be watching twenty-four seven. They wouldn’t approach me or bother me unless I got into trouble.

  That meant I could grieve—and hopefully heal—in peace. Which was what I wanted more than anything.

  At home, I couldn’t cry without people constantly asking questions. I couldn’t be sad without Maverick or Daddy or even Mila losing their minds. And I couldn’t so much as go outside because I knew G would be watching.

  Without the necklace, he couldn’t know what was going on with me. He couldn’t hear every conversation I had with my family or when I talked to myself out loud—not that I did that regularly. I’d only started doing that so I could talk to him, but apparently he hadn’t been listening or just didn’t care.

  It also meant he couldn’t find me. I figured he’d used my cell’s GPS to track me to New York, so I pretended to lose my phone, and my parents got me another one before I left for Rome. I’d left my old phone in the top drawer of my bedside table and kept it turned on, so if he tried to trace it with that serial number, he would think I was still home.