Heartless Savage (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 6) Read online

  “Don’t be mean to me, Garret!” she yelled up at him as he hopped on one foot while trying to rub away the ache in his leg.

  “Nova, don’t kick your brother,” Felicity scolded, but her voice was back to being soft once more, not full of steel like it had been when she’d spoken to her son. “Garret, don’t tease your sister about how tall she is or isn’t.”

  Garret stopped rubbing at the sore spot on his shin. “So, it’s against the law to speak the truth now? Yeah, okay, whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “We gonna play with your Xbox or not, Ciana?”

  “Yeah, of course we are. But what about your sister? I don’t want her to feel left out.”

  “I’ll play with Nova,” I offered.

  “Yay!” Nova squealed, bouncing happily back to me and putting her hand in mine—where it belonged. The act was so natural, so full of trust, it was as if she’d been doing it all her life. It made my chest squeeze in that funny way again, and I tugged her closer. “Can we play hide-and-seek?”

  “Nova, let’s save that game for when you aren’t tired from traveling all day,” her mom recommended. “We don’t want you to fall asleep while hiding. What if Ryan can’t find you?”

  “I would find her, no matter what,” I vowed.

  Ciana and Garret left to play in the game room on the second floor, and I guided Nova up to my room. I didn’t have a lot of things a girl would normally want to play with, but Nova didn’t seem to mind as she skipped around my room, inspecting everything.

  “You got lots of books,” she murmured and yawned. “Can you read?”

  “Yep. Do you want me to read to you?” She yawned again but nodded, the smile on her face making her green eyes bright. “Do you want to pick the book?”

  She shook her head. “Just something with a brave girl. Like me!”

  Grinning, I grabbed one of my favorite books and walked over to my bed. She followed but struggled to get onto the mattress. Smiling, I helped Nova climb up, and she laid her head on my pillow. Her eyes were already lowering, so I pulled the covers up over her and sat beside her.

  I barely got to the third page before she was asleep. Closing the book, I just sat and watched her. She looked like a little doll lying there, with one hand tucked under her cheek and the other clutching my shirt. I liked the way she held on to me, wanting me close.

  As I watched her, my own eyes began to get heavy, and I scooted down so I could lay my head on the pillow with her. The last few nights, I hadn’t slept much, and my whole body felt exhausted all of a sudden.

  3

  Ryan

  Nova shifted in her sleep. Releasing my shirt, she clasped my hand, her tiny fingers wrapping around my considerably larger ones. A sense of peace hit me out of nowhere, and the next thing I knew, it was dark outside my window.

  Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I moved, and my heart stopped when Nova cuddled against me with a soft whine. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her, and I kissed the top of her head. I knew I had to get up, that Nova needed to eat. Both of our stomachs were growling because they were empty. We had both missed lunch earlier, and I knew it must be past dinnertime at this point.

  But I didn’t want to move.

  In that moment, I wasn’t scared or tired or dreading being around people I didn’t know. There were no bad memories from before Mom became my mom, from when I had a different mom. The one who wasn’t so nice to me. The one who liked to make me cry and hurt me. The scars on my chest didn’t make my skin crawl. My stomach wasn’t cramped up.

  There was just the tiny angel who trusted me to protect her while she slept peacefully beside me.

  Nova squirmed in her sleep for a moment before her eyes snapped open. “I have ta potty!” she whisper-shouted as she sat up, her eyes glancing around frantically.

  I jumped out of bed and helped her down before leading her into the bathroom. Only, her legs were too short for her to get on the toilet all by herself. What if she fell in? She was already doing that dance everyone did when they had to pee really bad, but I had no idea what to do to help her.

  “Lift me up!” she instructed in a panic as she pushed her shorts and underwear down.

  “Let me get your mom.” I started to back away, scared I might hurt her or do something wrong.

  “No time. Please? Max helps me all the time. Garret too.” She turned so her back was to the toilet and lifted her hands. “Please, Ryan! It’s coming.”

  Lifting her, I sat her on the seat and held her hands, but I kept my eyes closed so I didn’t see anything. It felt wrong to see that part of her. As the sound of her pee hitting the toilet water reached my ears, Nova let out a relieved little sigh. When the dripping sound stopped, she pulled one of her hands free.

  “Ugh, I can’t reach the tissue.”

  I peeked one eye open and tore her off a little of the toilet paper, but as soon as she took it from me, I snapped my eyes closed again. Moments later, she was hopping down and flushed. I gave her a little longer to pull her clothes into place before opening my eyes.

  Nova walked over to the sink then huffed. Smiling to myself, I turned on the water for her and then lifted her around the waist from behind so she could wash her hands. As soon as her hands were clean and she was on her feet again, she threw her arms around me. “Thank you, Ryan.”

  My stomach started growling, and hers rumbled back, as if they were communicating. It made her giggle, and I grinned as I took her hand. “Let’s go ask my mom for something to eat.”

  With her tiny legs, going down the stairs wasn’t nearly as easy as it had been climbing up them earlier. I held Nova’s hand, and we slowly took them one at a time. I’d never really thought about how many steps there were until right then, but it felt like there were a thousand of them.

  “My legs are getting tired,” Nova muttered as we got closer to the bottom. “Your house is so big.”

  With only a few steps to go, I moved down to the last one while still holding her hand. “Get on my back,” I told her, turning so she could climb on. “I’ll carry you.”

  Her giggle was so sweet and precious, my chest started aching again. Her hands clutched my shoulders as she jumped and wrapped her legs around my middle. I grabbed her hands, pulling them around my neck securely before releasing them so I could reach behind me and hold her bottom in case she slipped.

  She didn’t weigh much, so I didn’t have trouble carrying her through the house in search of Mom. Adult laughter came from the dining room, so I turned in that direction. At the door, I glanced in, hoping to find Mom in there with the others.

  She snapped her head in my direction as soon as I paused in the doorway, her blue eyes drifting over me and the little angel on my back. “I was just about to come wake you up,” Mom said as she stood and walked over to us, causing the others to stop talking and look our way. “I checked on you a while ago, and you were both sound asleep.” She stroked her hand over my cheek, and she lowered her voice so the others couldn’t hear her. “You haven’t been sleeping well, have you, l’venok?”

  I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it in front of everyone. The concern darkened her eyes, but she didn’t push the issue. Instead, she shifted her attention to Nova. “I bet you’re hungry. What would you like to eat, myshka?”

  “I’m not me-sha,” Nova told her with a giggle. “I’m Nova.”

  “Myshka isn’t a name,” I tried to explain as I looked at her over my shoulder. “It’s like when your mom or dad call you sweetheart or honey or baby. In Russian, it means mouse.”

  Her face scrunched up as if she was processing that, and then she nodded. “Oh, okay.”

  Mom’s mouth twitched with amusement before she lifted her hand, urging me to sit down. I carried Nova over to the side of the table where there were more empty seats and helped her off my back before picking her up and placing her in one of the chairs.

  Before I took the one beside her, I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and I glanced around. When my eyes landed on No
va’s mom, I gulped and quickly jumped up next to the little angel.

  “Papa is bringing home pizza in a few hours. We haven’t had dinner yet since we had such a late lunch.” Mom informed me as she stood beside my chair. “How about a sandwich for now?”

  I looked at Nova, who was already nodding. “Yes, please. If Ryan likes it, I will like it too.”

  A soft laugh came from the direction where Felicity was sitting. “She really isn’t picky, Anya. Whatever is fine. As you saw earlier, Garret is the one we have to fight with to eat what we put in front of him.”

  “I’m sure if we sent Garret to St. Petersburg for a few weeks, he’d be just fine with whatever was placed in front of him when he returned,” Mom muttered, a sly grin on her face.

  “That may be something we take you up on one day.” Still laughing, Felicity got to her feet. “Let me help you.”

  The two of them walked toward the kitchen, leaving me alone with Nova and Zia Scarlett.

  “Do you like to swim, Nova?” Zia asked as the door swung closed behind our moms. “The other kids are out in the pool right now.”

  “I don’t know,” Nova answered, frowning as if she were thinking hard about the question.

  “You haven’t been swimming before?” I asked.

  “No.” She shook her head so much that her pigtails swung back and forth. “Is it fun?”

  “We have a pool in the backyard. Papa and Zio Ciro had it installed last summer. We had another one, but it was too small for all of us. This one is way bigger. It’s heated so we can swim year-round if we want, and there are lights in the pool for when we swim at night.” I turned so I was facing her fully. “I’ll teach you how to swim.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea, Ryan,” Zia murmured with a small smile. “You are being a great host already. Thank you for helping to make our guests feel welcome.”

  I shrugged, not really liking praise. I wasn’t doing it to help out, but because I really liked how I felt when I was so close to Nova. When she’d been asleep beside me earlier, I felt like nothing was wrong. I actually felt good, when good was the one thing I’d rarely felt my whole life. Only Mom could make me feel like that, but this was a different kind of good.

  This was…more.

  4

  Ryan

  Heart pounding, I jerked upright in bed. Sweat was dripping off my body, and I kicked off my covers in frustration as my fear continued to make me shake.

  After the nap I’d taken with Nova earlier, with no nightmares to wake me, I had thought—hoped—that I wouldn’t have them when I went to bed. A glance at the clock told me I’d only been asleep an hour, and already I’d been chased by the monster in my dreams.

  Pulling my knees up, I pressed my damp forehead to them and tried not to cry. Crying wouldn’t help, and it only made me feel like a baby. When I was younger, I would scream out and wake the entire house. And then Mom came to live with us. The dreams hadn’t been as bad since then, but that didn’t make them stop. I might not scream out in terror, but the very real fear that I could taste on my tongue wasn’t much better.

  The sound of my door being pushed open had my head snapping up. There were a few night-lights in the outlets around my room to give it a soft glow, which made it easy to see the tiny shadow tiptoeing toward my bed. The sight of Nova in her kitten pajamas, her long blond hair hanging around her face like a halo, and a stuffed bunny in one arm, had that sick, terror-filled feeling in my stomach disappearing.

  I didn’t know why, but I’d left my door slightly ajar when I’d gone to bed earlier. Nova had been given the room across from mine, a toddler bed having been set up the week before in anticipation of her and her family’s arrival. Knowing she was just across the hall, I’d wanted to be able to hear her if she happened to get scared in the middle of the night. As big as my house was, I didn’t want her to wake up and not know where anyone was and be afraid, so I’d shown her several times that I was close.

  As she got closer to my bed, she stopped. “What’s wrong?” she whispered, seeing that I was sitting up.

  “Nothing.” It wasn’t a lie. Now that she was here, there really was nothing wrong. My heart rate was back to normal, not making my chest shake from how hard it was pounding, and the cold sweat that had been dripping off my body only moments before was quickly drying on my skin. “Couldn’t you sleep?”

  She tightened her hold on her bunny. “We don’t like that big room. I like it better in here. With you.”

  “I like it better in here with you, too,” I told her honestly. Getting out of bed, I picked her up and waited until she crawled over to the pillows. Once she was comfortable, I got in beside her, and we laid our heads on the same pillow. “What’s your bunny’s name?”

  “Bun-Bun. My aunt Raven gave her to me when I was a baby. Do you want to snuggle with her?” She lifted it and touched its nose to my cheek. “She’s real soft and gives the best cuddles.”

  I just looked at the bunny then at Nova, who gave me these big, hopeful eyes, as if she wanted me to cuddle the stuffie. I took it and gave it a quick hug before giving it back to her. Even though the room was mostly dark with just the night-lights to see by, her smile was so bright, it made something feel as if it were glowing in my chest.

  “See?” she said with a yawn. “Bun-Bun is the bestest cuddler.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “The best.”

  “Ryan?” she murmured, her voice full of sleep now.

  I traced my eyes over her face, and without thinking, I tucked a few locks of her pretty hair behind her ear. “Yeah?”

  “Don’t tell, but I was scared.” She yawned again. “But I didn’t want to be a baby and sleep with my mommy and daddy. And Garret won’t let me sleep with him.”

  I grimaced at the mention of her brother. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. He was kind of cool, even if he was grumpy and got into trouble a lot. But what I didn’t like was, from what little I’d seen of him with Nova earlier, I’d noticed he didn’t treat her the way she should be treated. She was so tiny and precious. Why didn’t he want to protect her like I did?

  “It’s okay,” I told her and moved closer so I could wrap an arm around her. “You can sleep here any time you want.”

  “Promise?” she whispered, snuggling against me with Bun-Bun tucked under her arm, her ear right over my heart.

  “I promise,” I whispered back.

  She got quiet and I thought maybe she had fallen asleep, but she surprised me when she said my name. “Ryan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re my best friend.”

  I blinked, looking down at what little I could see of her face. No one had ever called me that before. I had friends at school, but no one I was close enough to call my best friend. I liked Ciana more than I liked most kids, and I loved her, but I wouldn’t even call her my best friend.

  Yet Nova calling me her best friend felt more right than anything ever had. More right than the first time I finally got to call my mom, Mom.

  “You’re my best friend too, Nova,” I told her quietly.

  She made a happy sound and cuddled closer. I tightened my arm around her, and I just lay there holding her until her breathing evened out, telling me she really had fallen asleep this time. The digital clock glowed the time, and I realized only about ten minutes had passed since I’d woken from my bad dream.

  Nova had fallen asleep so easily, and I kind of envied that. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sleep. I just didn’t like what happened when I did.

  But when Nova was cuddled so close, her slight weight against me oddly reassuring, the scent of her baby shampoo from the bath her mom had given her earlier teasing at my nose, I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open.

  The sound of a grunt jerked me awake. Nova grumbled something in her sleep before I even opened my eyes, and I tightened my hold on her, wanting to protect her. Lifting my lashes, I found my room was full of adults.

  Mom was at the foot of my bed, while Nova’s
mother stood on my side of the bed. When I looked at her mom, I clutched Nova closer and scooted us both a few inches away before turning my gaze back to Mom.

  “What’s wrong?” I whispered, not wanting to wake the angel still sleeping against me.

  “Felicity couldn’t find Nova,” Mom answered, her voice quiet. “We thought she might have gotten lost trying to find their room last night. But it appears she was here all along.”

  “She couldn’t sleep,” I told them, not telling them that Nova had been scared. I’d promised not to tell, and I wouldn’t break that promise, no matter what.

  Felicity smiled down at me. “Thank you for taking care of her. I’m sure she didn’t let you sleep much. Nova doesn’t fall asleep easily.”

  Her answer surprised me. Both times Nova had fallen asleep beside me, she’d been out within minutes. She hadn’t tossed or turned the entire night. What was really weird, though, was that I’d fallen asleep just as quickly.

  And there had been no nightmares.

  I’d slept the whole night with Nova against me, and I couldn’t remember a single bad dream. There was no lingering taste of fear in my mouth, no sweat dampening my sheets, no racing heart except when I’d looked up and seen Nova’s mom standing beside my bed.

  Nova whined in her sleep before stretching. I looked down at her just as her lashes fluttered upward. Her eyes were even prettier first thing in the morning with sleep still darkening them. When she focused on my face, she smiled, making that light glow inside me again.

  “Ryan.” The smile turned into a frown. “Oh no. I gotta potty!”

  Felicity bent and lifted her. “I think it’s time to start the day, Nova.”

  “But I wanna stay with Ryan, Mommy,” she complained as her mom carried her out of my room.

  “You will see Ryan after you potty and change out of your jammies.”