Sweet Agony (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 2) Read online

  “Okay,” I whispered, feeling weak and helpless and in complete agony from the pain in my abdomen. What choice did I really have anyway? It seemed like Theo was totally in charge of everything, including my life.

  Someone wanted to kill me, and I couldn’t trust anyone, not even the man sitting beside me. Yet, I had no one else to help me. No one else who cared if I lived or died.

  At least, with Theo, I might stand a slight chance.

  Chapter 7

  Theo

  By dawn, we were in the air on one of my aunt’s private jets, headed for California. My friend Lexa knew I was coming, as did her parents. Staying with them, surrounding Tavia with the Angel’s Halo MC to protect her, was the only option I really had at that point.

  I didn’t know who in Pops’s security was tainted, and I wasn’t going to put Tavia at risk by chancing it. With the MC, I knew who I could trust—the Hannigans, and by default, the Reids. On top of that, Lexa had just married the local sheriff, and I knew I could trust him most of all.

  I wouldn’t say Ben Davis and I were best buds or anything, but the guy tolerated me more now than he had at our first meeting. That Lexa was now his wife made it slightly easier for him to accept that she was one of my—possibly my only—real friends.

  Tavia slept most of the flight, only waking up once when we hit some turbulence. And she quickly fell back to sleep once I’d administered one of the shots into her IV line filled with the pain medication the hospital had supplied for our trip.

  Five men in MC cuts were waiting for us at the airport, along with an SUV to transport us to Creswell Springs. Out here, they were their own law. They only answered to my family when they were doing a protection run for us, and I knew better than to assume I had any authority over them. It was Lexa’s mom, Raven, who sat behind the wheel of the blacked-out vehicle, her sister-in-law Felicity Hannigan in the passenger seat beside her. Felicity was my true connection to the MC as she was my uncle Ciro’s cousin, something only a few people in the world knew, and that was exactly how it would stay.

  Once I’d carried Tavia off the plane and carefully placed her in the back seat, the MC escorted us to Raven’s house. She and her husband lived in her childhood home with her eldest brother Jet and Felicity. The house was huge, and at one time, all of the Hannigan siblings had lived under the same roof with their significant others. Now they were spread out around the small town, each of them having had their own children.

  Tavia didn’t stir on the drive to their house, and she barely lifted her lashes when the SUV stopped in the driveway. Carefully, I shifted her head off me and got out before reaching back in and lifting her into my arms.

  Raven and Felicity showed us upstairs to a guest room. As I laid Tavia in the middle of the bed, she moaned pitifully and looked up at me. “Where are we?” she asked in a voice weak with pain and confusion.

  “We made it to the safe house, krasotka,” I murmured, brushing my lips over her brow.

  “Theo, I need to check her incisions,” Raven reminded me in a stern yet tender voice, so as not to frighten Tavia.

  Reluctantly, I stepped out of the way. For the first time, Tavia saw Raven and frowned. “Who are you?”

  Lexa’s mom was a tall, willowy blonde with very short hair. It had started growing back after her chemotherapy treatments had stopped. She was thankfully cancer-free now, but the chemo had made her pretty sick. Once she had started to lose her hair from the treatments, she had shaved her head. And surprisingly, her sisters-in-law had as well, to show their support.

  Raven had always intimidated me, almost as much as my aunt Anya did. Raven seemed like a force of nature. Lexa joked more than once that her mom was the one who ran the MC, and her father, who was the MC president, simply sat back and let her. It wasn’t completely true, but there was some validity to it. Something I’d seen up close and personally on a few occasions.

  Raven’s mouth tilted up in a half smile, but her green eyes were full of kindness, something that was fairly rare from the MC queen unless she was dealing with Lexa or Nova. “My name is Raven Hannigan Reid, Tavia. I guess you can say I’m your nurse. I’ll be taking care of you until you’re back on your feet. Is it okay if I look at the incisions on your abdomen? I need to make sure nothing is inflamed or oozing at this point.”

  Tavia looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded. “Sure?”

  Laughing softly, Raven glanced at me. “Maybe Theo would be kind enough to bring up the breakfast tray Flick is working on for you.”

  I got the hint and started for the door, only to pause with my hand on the doorknob. “Mrs. Reid…”

  “It’s okay, Theo. I know about everything. Doc and I had a very informative conversation with her surgeon earlier.”

  Nodding, I opened the door, but I looked at Tavia before walking through it. “I will be right back. You can trust her, krasotka. No one in this house will harm you. I promise.”

  Outside her closed bedroom door, I shut my eyes, leaning my forehead against the thick wood. Exhaustion was pressing down on me hard, but I couldn’t sleep until I knew Tavia was comfortable—and safe. There had been no time to tell her about the miscarriage, but I knew I needed too soon.

  After she was settled, I vowed. Then I would tell her everything.

  Downstairs, Felicity was working on the tray. Tavia was on a liquid diet for a few days, so Felicity was heating up some homemade chicken broth. She lifted her head when I entered the kitchen, a gentle smile tilting her lips. Her hair was just as short as her sister-in-law’s, only instead of the light shade of blond Raven’s was, Felicity’s was a pretty chestnut color. Her blue eyes reminded me of my uncle’s, only where his were guarded and deadly, hers were almost always soft and full of tenderness.

  “I’m nearly done with her tray, sweetheart.” She placed a bowl on the tray and then a spoon wrapped in a paper towel. “Don’t worry about a thing where your Tavia is concerned. Raven has taken care of plenty of brothers who had a gunshot to the gut. She’s a pro at this point.”

  “I trust her—and you,” I assured her. “That’s not what I’m worried about. I…I really don’t know how to break it to her that she had a miscarriage.”

  Felicity paused in the act of pouring the broth into the bowl. “Be gentle with her. Be supportive. Let her cry as much as she wants. Let her scream if that helps. No matter how you tell her, it’s going to come as a huge surprise, and it will break her heart. Preparing for something like that just isn’t possible. But supporting her after you tell her, that’s the important part.”

  I took her advice and stored that for later. Once the tray was ready, I took it upstairs. By the time I returned to Tavia’s room, Raven had her tucked in, and she seemed more relaxed.

  Looking down at her, I realized how small she seemed. How fragile. Her face was pale, making the slight sprinkle of freckles across her nose and cheeks stand out more. She was the ghost of the girl I’d spent the past three years secretly loving.

  “Hungry?” I asked as I placed the tray across her lap and sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Not really,” she said with a grimace at the broth.

  “It might not look appealing,” Raven said with a small smile. “But it will give your body the energy it needs to heal. Try a little of it for now. In a few days, we can move you up to softer foods if you can tolerate the fluids.”

  Gathering her supplies, Raven straightened up the side table where she had placed everything Tavia would need. “Let me know if your pain becomes too much. I can give you something for it.”

  Tavia groaned. “I’m getting tired of all the pain meds. They make me sick to my stomach, and I’m cramping so bad right now. Could all of this trigger my period?”

  Raven looked at me, and I held my breath, knowing it was time to explain about the baby. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” she said softly as she left.

  I watched her until the door closed quietly behind her, before looking back at Tavia. She was staring di
sgustedly at the bowl of broth, so I moved the tray to the side table and took her hands in mine.

  “Tavia, I need to tell you something.”

  She scrunched up her brow. “More bad news?”

  I sat there just looking at her for a long moment, trying to find the words to tell her our baby was gone. Her question to Raven told me she hadn’t known she was pregnant, and I didn’t know if that was a relief for me or not. If she hadn’t known, then she hadn’t been trying to tell me when I’d been avoiding her calls.

  “Your cramping isn’t from your period,” I told her.

  “And you’re such an expert on period cramps?” She laughed slightly, only to groan in pain. “Damn, even that makes me hurt.”

  “Tavia, baby…” I closed my eyes and prayed for strength before finally just blurting it out. “You were pregnant. During surgery, you had a miscarriage.”

  What little color was still in her face drained from her. “I-I’m going to be sick,” she whispered.

  I grabbed the small bowl sitting on the nightstand holding fresh bandages and other first aid items. After emptying it, I pushed it close to Tavia’s face just as she started to vomit.

  The contracting of her stomach muscles made her cry, but I wasn’t sure if it was the pain or the loss of the baby that had her sobbing by the time she was done.

  Weakly, she fell back against the pillows and then curled into a ball. “Go away, Theo,” she cried. “Please, just…go away.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” I gritted out, rubbing her back as she turned onto her side.

  “Why not?” she demanded, her voice full of hurt and anger. “You’re so good at it. All you ever do is leave me.”

  “Baby—”

  “Just stop it, Theo!” she yelled. “Stop pretending you care. We both know you don’t, so just leave me the hell alone.”

  “You don’t know anything,” I told her softly, refusing to raise my voice. She was hurting and needed to take her emotional pain out on someone. If it made her feel better, I would let her yell whatever she wanted at me. Fuck, I’d sit still and let her beat the hell out of me if that would make her feel better. But I refused to let her think I didn’t care about her. “I only backed away because I didn’t want you to get hurt while I was dealing with Viktor. He could have used you against me, and I didn’t want to pull you into the war I was starting.”

  “Great job there, Mr. Noble.” She scrubbed at the tears flooding down her face. “Did you know I was his daughter before you fucked me? Was that part of the plan? Did you think that would piss him off too?”

  “I found out he was your father at the same time you did. I thought I knew everything there was to know about Viktor Petrov, but you were his best-kept secret.”

  She snorted indelicately. “Apparently.” When I continued to rub her back, she slapped my hand away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me. I hate you, Theo.”

  “Hate me, then,” I told her. “But I’ll always love you, krasotka.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Angrily, she sat up, her face pinched in pain as she glared at me. “I’m done listening to your lies and your bullshit. I’m stuck in this bed for the moment, helpless and reliant on you and the people who live here. Right now, I’ll take the strangers over you. Fuck, I’d take the devil himself over you at this point.”

  Chapter 8

  Tavia

  I held back my sobs until the door closed behind Theo. But as soon as I heard the soft click, telling me he was on the other side and I no longer had those dark eyes on me, I couldn’t hold on any longer.

  My anger at him, at myself, at the fucking world, rolled into the deep, agonizing feeling of loss I’d felt from the moment Theo told me I’d had a miscarriage. Despite not trusting him, for some reason, I believed him when he told me I’d lost the baby while in surgery.

  The baby.

  I covered my lower stomach with my hands, and two fat tears fell over my lashes. I hadn’t even realized there was a baby.

  How could I not know?

  Wasn’t a woman inherently supposed to know these things about herself when she had a new life growing inside her? Only I hadn’t. Between school and working with my other tutoring clients, I had been so damn busy. Something I’d been thankful for because it had helped take my mind off the fact that Theo had dropped me as soon as he’d gotten what he wanted.

  Theo.

  Theo’s baby.

  Like its father, my precious little nugget obviously hadn’t wanted me any more than Theo did. But I would have wanted him or her. I would have loved that baby so much, and it would have loved me too.

  Another sob shook my shoulders, making my body throb in agony from the way my stomach tensed and clenched over and over again.

  What would that have felt like, being loved by someone? I’d never experienced that from anyone; not a single person in my life had ever loved me. I’d been tossed aside practically from infancy, discarded like yesterday’s trash and left to fend for myself. I mattered to zero people, and I’d thought I was okay with that.

  But now, knowing that there had been the possibility of someone caring for me, if only just a little, made it impossible to breathe for the agony of the loss I was feeling. It hurt worse than the pain in my abdomen. It hurt worse than any pain I’d ever felt in my entire life.

  It was enough to make me hate the world as a whole. Hate Theo. He had given me something miraculous. Only to tear it from my hands and my heart before I could even touch our precious little baby. Was he satisfied now? He’d broken me completely. Me, his enemy’s daughter, was now a defenseless whimpering mass of pain and tears.

  No doubt he was laughing behind that closed door, delighting in the fact that he didn’t have to be stuck with me as his child’s mother.

  I was so lost in the bitterness and sorrow, crying so hard and loud, I didn’t even hear the door opening. I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone until a soft hand touched my cheek. Gasping in fright, I looked up to find Raven sitting on the edge of my bed, a tissue in her hand as she mopped up my tears.

  “I’m not here to hush you or tell you everything is going to be okay,” she told me in a quiet voice. “I only came in here to let you know you aren’t alone. So, go ahead and cry. Yell and scream. Throw things, if that’s what helps. No one is going to judge or condemn you for feeling like the world is against you. It’s not, but it probably feels like that right now. You’re in my home now, Tavia. You’re safe, and I promise you I will protect you until my last breath if that is what it takes.”

  I frowned up at her through my tears. “Why? You don’t know me.”

  “You remind me of my daughter. That same fire, that same brokenness that lives inside her, I see it in your eyes. And if you believe nothing else, believe that I would give up my life for her. Just as I would for you.” She wiped away a few more of my tears. “It’s okay to be pissed. It’s even okay to hate everyone. To think no one cares… But I do. I’ll be right here in your corner, because I can tell that’s what you need more than anything else right now. You came here for a reason, but you’re mine now.”

  “But…you just met me,” I reminded her, bewildered.

  “The first time I met Lexa, my daughter, I took one look at her and knew she was mine. Didn’t matter that I didn’t give birth to her. Didn’t matter that I was hurt and pissed at her dad at the time. She was this tiny little thing who looked up at me like she wanted me to see her, but wasn’t sure at the same time. You, I can tell you don’t want anyone to see you. That must have worked well for you over the years, kept you under the radar. But I can also tell you need someone to see you, sweetheart. I’ve accepted you as mine, and you should too.” Giving me a smile, she wiped away some more of my tears. “So, welcome to the family. You now have a sister and a brother. I come along with some growly uncles and some pretty amazing aunts, and a shitload of cousins.”

  Bemusedly, a tiny laugh escaped me. “You’re kind of crazy, aren’t you?”
/>   “No one has ever called me crazy before. I tend to intimidate people too much for them to say that to my face.” She picked up the tray from the side table and placed it back across my lap. “You’re all snotty right now, but you still need to eat some of this. Come on, blow your nose, and then take a few bites. Getting your strength back is priority number one for now.”

  I surprised myself by doing as she instructed. I blew my nose, grimacing in pain because even that made me hurt. Abdominal pain had to be the worst physical pain imaginable. Simply breathing gave me issues. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it when I eventually sneezed or coughed.

  Once I was cleaned up, she lifted the bowl and fed me several bites. It looked disgusting, yet even with it having cooled off, it was pretty good. But six spoonsful later and I couldn’t handle any more.

  A pleased smile teased at her lips as she stood. “Good job. I honestly didn’t think you would get that much down. Sit tight. I’ll be back in a few to help you to the bathroom.”

  She was gone for less than five minutes before she was back, but she didn’t come alone. A woman with pretty blue eyes and hair just as short as Raven’s, only brown, followed her into my room.

  “I’m not exactly as strong as I once was,” Raven said with a twist of her lips. “So, Flick is going to help me assist you to the bathroom.”

  Flick looked down at me with so much tenderness in her eyes, I felt the sting of tears in my sinuses return. “Hi, Tavia. You can call me Flick or Felicity. I’m cool with either.”

  “I… Okay.” I felt both shy and defensive, and for some reason, I didn’t want to feel either around these two women. They had been kind to me, taking care of me, and Raven had even said I was hers—whatever that meant. I didn’t want them to see me as a bitch or as some meek little thing they had to protect from the big bad world.