Craving Lucy Read online

  “I can hear the wheels moving in that beautiful head of yours, Lu. What are you thinking about?” When I didn’t answer him, he shifted forward in his chair and cupped my knees in both of his big hands. I didn’t look down at him. I couldn’t.

  With one kiss I’d ruined everything. Everything. The relationship I’d once shared with Harris was gone. Over. I couldn’t go back to the way things had been before I’d let him kiss me—before I’d kissed him back. My heart just couldn’t handle pretending like what I’d felt when his lips were on mine hadn’t happened. It wasn’t fair to the love and respect I had for him—for myself—to put it behind me like it had never happened.

  And it sure as hell wasn’t fair that he had moved on like it was nothing. Like I had been nothing. How was it so easy for him to forget about our kiss, to forget how powerful it had been? Was I like every other chick who had passed through his life? A passing thought that was so easily forgotten as soon as I was out of sight?

  I clenched my throbbing hand into a tight fist as my eyes started to sting with tears. The shooting pain that ran all the way up my arm was enough to make me gasp and just enough to stop my mind from asking any more stupid questions. Questions I wasn’t likely ever to get the answers to.

  One large hand grasped my wrist, gentle fingers skimming over my bruised knuckles. “Why did you do that?” he demanded in a quieter voice.

  “Do what?” I asked, pulling my hand back. Surprisingly he let me, but I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head.

  “Lucy…”

  The door to the small triage exam room opened and a doctor walked into the room like he owned the place. A nurse stood behind him and Marcus filled the doorway, both blocking anyone’s entrance and watching the doctor with eyes that were narrowed. I was thankful for the distraction. I just knew that Harris had been about to ask questions that I was never going to give him answers to.

  “Well, Miss Thornton, my nurse tells me that you’ve got a hand injury.” I glanced at his nametag and saw that his name was Dr. Levin, but instead of asking me what had happened, he turned his attention to Harris. “How did this happen?” he demanded, as if accusing him of hurting me.

  I nearly laughed. Harris hurt me physically? That was so funny. Not only did I know that he wouldn’t ever raise a hand to me but both our fathers would kick his ass if he so much as thought about it. His dad maybe even would have kicked his ass harder than my own would if that happened.

  Before I could open my mouth, Harris took a step closer to the doctor, his eyes hard. “A guy said something to my girlfriend that upset her. Before I could deal with the douchebag, she handled it herself. She’s awesome like that.”

  The doctor lifted my hand carefully into his hand, but I didn’t feel the pain as he examined it. Didn’t hear a word he spoke, even though I saw his lips moving. My mind had caught and was stuck on one and only one word Harris had said.

  Girlfriend.

  Had he really said girlfriend? As in I was his girlfriend? No. No way. I must have heard him wrong. My hand was causing me so much pain that I was starting to hallucinate. Or maybe I’d just misunderstood. I was a girl, after all, and until that kiss two Saturdays ago, we’d been best friends.

  I shook my head, mentally scolding myself for even thinking that that one word had actually meant something. Dr. Levin placed my hand in my lap carefully and moved to the small sink to wash his hands. “I don’t think it’s broken. Most likely it’s just a really bad sprain, but we’ll do a few x-rays to rule out any hairline fractures.” He turned to face me, his eyes softening a little. “Would you like something for the pain, Miss Thornton? Nurse Frost can give you some hydrocodone…”

  “No!” I shook my head adamantly. No way did I want anything stronger than Tylenol. I’d only had a narcotic once, the same night I’d gotten the scar on my lip. I’d hated the way that the pain medication had made me feel and they’d had to give me something for nausea. “I’m good with Advil or Motrin or even Tylenol. I don’t want anything stronger than that.”

  The doctor’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded his head and turned to the nurse. “Let’s get her some ibuprofen, and a bag of ice for the swelling.”

  “Of course, doctor,” the nurse said with a smile. She bit her lip as she glanced at Harris, blushed, and then ducked out of the room.

  I leaned back on the gurney and rolled my eyes at the obviousness of the nurse while the doctor excused himself. Harris dropped back down into his chair and scooted it closer to the gurney, his hands catching hold of my feet and pulling them onto his lap. I stiffened for a second then shrugged as I let him take my boots off and massaged my left foot.

  Marcus stuck his head in the triage room. “You good, Lucy?”

  I yawned and nodded. “As good as I can be.”

  “I’ll message your mom and let her know that you’re doing okay.” He stepped back and let the door close. I watched as he took up his earlier position, his huge back blocking almost the entire window on the door.

  Fighting another yawn, I looked down at the guy rubbing my feet. “Shouldn’t you be at work? Don’t you have a club to run?”

  “I’ve got a great staff and I texted my assistant manager on the ride over here.” He pressed his thumb into my arch and applied enough pressure that my eyes drifted closed in pleasure. “It wouldn’t have mattered, though. I wasn’t going to let you leave without me. You’re more important to me than First Bass.”

  For the second time that night tears burned my eyes. This time it wasn’t because of the pain in my hand, but in my heart. I watched as he examined the nail polish on my toes, trying to figure him out. How could this guy—this beautiful man—tear me up so easily inside? Why the hell did he get to have all this power over my heart when it felt like I had none over his?

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I did the one thing I’d sworn I wasn’t going to do. Bring up that damn kiss. “Do you regret kissing me, Harris?”

  His dark head snapped up and those amazing aquamarine eyes caught mine, forcing me to hold his gaze. “No,” he breathed fiercely. “Lu, no. I don’t regret one second of kissing you.”

  Some of the pressure in my chest eased and it felt like I could actually breathe again. He didn’t regret it. But… “So why did you disappear for so long? Why didn’t you text me?”

  His eyes broke our connection first. He turned his head and blew out a long, drawn-out breath. “Tessa caused some trouble between me and Jenna. Jen called me, hysterical, threatening to leave rehab. I flew out the next morning and was there until yesterday, convincing her to stay until her scheduled time was up.”

  My eyes widened. I hadn’t even considered that he’d left town because of Jenna. It made me feel self-centered and spoiled that I hadn’t thought of Jenna very much in the last few months. I knew she was working on turning her life around, and I was proud of her. We’d never been very close, though. Mostly because, until she’d come out to everyone in the family, I’d thought she and Harris had had something going on. I’d been jealous of her even at the age of twelve.

  I closed my eyes. Pettily I’d been kind of glad that Jenna hadn’t been around for the last few months. It had meant that I’d had Harris’s full attention when we were together. Fuck, I was such a mean bitch.

  “I-is she okay?”

  Turning those mesmerizing eyes back to me, he gave me a grim smile. “So far so good. I think I’ve gotten her convinced that Tessa isn’t for her. Time will only tell, though. All I can do is be there for her. She has to be the one to decide who she wants in her life or not.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, she does. I wish she would talk to Drake, though.” I knew that if she just talked to her brother about what was going on, from the bad girlfriend to the drugs, he would understand and maybe even be able to help her through the rest of her recovery.

  Just because Jenna had gone to rehab didn’t mean that she was going to be fine when she got home. Drake had once told me that rehab was the easy part.
In there you didn’t have temptation glaring at you around every corner. There were people who understood what you were going through, people who shared your pain and your cravings. Out in the real world, unless you had a good support system around you, your chances of slipping up doubled. Of course, considering how many times Drake had been to rehab before he’d finally taken it seriously, the support system meant nothing unless you were ready to face your addiction head on.

  “I told her she needed to tell her brothers and sister. She promised to consider it.” He leaned back in his chair and started rubbing my feet again, seeming distracted. “If she doesn’t break up with Tessa, then I’m going to find a new place to live.”

  “Really?” I bit my lip when I realized how loud my voice had been. I wasn’t going to lie. The very thought of Harris under the same roof as Tessa had been eating at me. Countless times I’d imagined that the reason he hadn’t texted or called me was because he was tangled up in his sheets with that chick. “Really?” I repeated, my tone quieter this time.

  A small grin teased at Harris’s lips. “Yes, really. Would that make you happy?”

  My brows lifted. I was ecstatic about the possibility of him having his own place, but this wasn’t about me. “It isn’t about if it will make me happy, Harris. It’s about whether or not you will be happy. You and Jenna have been roommates since you were eighteen. You both own that apartment. Will you be happy not living there if she does decide not to breakup with Tessa?”

  Aquamarine eyes darkened and he moved so fast that I nearly yelped in surprise when two large hands grasped my waist and pulled me off the gurney and onto his lap. My uninjured hand gripped his shoulder while my thighs straddled his waist. This close I could practically taste his slightly minty breath as he exhaled. “Want to know what would really make me happy?” he muttered in a near growl.

  Being so close to him, sitting on his lap where I could feel every hard ridge of his jeans as he pressed up against me, was making me more than a little dizzy. Unconsciously I licked my dry lips. His aquamarine eyes followed the movement and I felt more than heard the groan as it left him.

  “Wh-what would make you happy?” I whispered.

  “Getting to kiss my girlfriend again.” He brushed his nose against mine, teasing me with the skimming of his lips over my top one.

  I jerked back a little, breaking contact with his lips even though my heart was yelling at me that I was an idiot. That kissing him was the only important thing at the moment. There it was again, that one crazy word that held so much power. Girlfriend. It messed with my brain, made me think all kinds of stupid things. “Am I?”

  “Fuck, yes. You might not want your dad to know about us yet, but you are definitely my girlfriend.” One of his big hands left my waist and lifted to smooth over my hair. He grimaced. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before, though. I might be bad at this whole relationship thing.”

  “Oh, you mean like going almost two weeks without contacting the chick that you claim is your girlfriend?” I demanded, but I was smirking when he gave me a sheepish grin.

  How the hell did he do this to me? How could I go from pissed-off and hurt one minute to so damn happy in the next? Harris Cutter was going to be my destruction.

  “Yeah, exactly like that. You scare me, Lucy.” He tugged me back toward him, his lashes lowering so that I couldn’t see his eyes. Blocking me out as he made a confession that melted all the remaining ice that had been around my heart, making me hurt, over the last eleven days. “Sometimes it feels like I have no control over what you do to me. You own me.”

  My heart stopped, clenched hard, and started racing. I fell forward, so weak from what he’d just admitted that I couldn’t hold myself up. Pressing my face into his hard chest, I sucked in one deep breath after another, fighting the tears that had been threatening to fall all evening. “Y-you can’t say things like that.”

  His hands tangled in my hair. “Yeah?” I felt his lips on top of my head as one errant tear spilled from my eyes and fell onto his shirt. “Why is that?”

  “Because you make me fall in love with you even more and it scares the hell out of me,” I whispered. If he was admitting to being scared, then it was only fair that I told him what scared me. It was terrifying, though, putting myself out there like this, speaking aloud the words that had been suffocating me for so long.

  I felt him freeze. With my head still against his chest I could hear his heartbeat, knew exactly when it stopped only for it to start racing just as fast as my own was. His hands in my hair tightened, tugging until my head was back enough that he could see my face. “You love me?”

  There was no use in lying, not when it felt so good—and still so scary—to say the words out loud. “I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old. Maybe longer.”

  Something twisted across his face and he shook his dark head. “You’re going to drive me to madness. You realize that, right?”

  My lips twitched as I fought back a grin. I liked that I could do that do him; it was nice to know that he wasn’t the one with all the power after all. “It’s only fair, since you do the same to me.”

  “I’m going to kiss you, Lucy.”

  “Why are you telling me? Just do it.” I licked my lips. They were already aching for the pressure of his mouth on them.

  “Because I’m hoping that I can control myself and keep it to just a kiss.” He leaned his forehead against my own, his breaths coming out in hard shudders, as if he were fighting for control. “Help me, Lucy. Make sure I don’t do something I shouldn’t.”

  Leaning into him I rolled my eyes, making him laugh. “Okay, relax. No way am I going to let you get out of hand because a) we’re in a hospital with germs everywhere and my bodyguard on the other side of the door. So yeah, gross. And b) I’m not ready to have sex with you.” I brushed my lips over the corner of his mouth. “I love you, Harris, but I’m just not ready for that.”

  Strong arms tightened around my waist. “Good. I’m glad. Just kick my ass if I try to disrespect that decision. Okay?”

  “Yeah, I will. I promise. Now shut up and kiss me before that slutty nurse comes back.”

  Dark brows lifted. “Jealous?”

  An unattractive snort escaped me. “Please…” When he just continued to look at me with those damn brows lifted, I grimaced. “Yeah. A little.”

  He flashed his dimples at me. “Was that so hard to admit?” I shrugged—he wasn’t ever going to get a verbal answer for that stupid question—and he chuckled. “You don’t have anything to ever be jealous about, Lu. I don’t see anyone but you.”

  “I’m still waiting to be kissed,” I grumbled.

  “Spoiled,” he said, teasing me, but I was the one with the last word when I covered his smiling mouth with my own and took the kiss I was aching for.

  Chapter 4

  Lucy

  My mouth was still swollen from that kiss when the nurse returned with my ibuprofen and the bag of ice. I ignored her as she found one reason after another to linger in my small triage room before the radiology tech showed up to take me to get x-rays for my hand.

  Harris and Marcus followed behind the thirty-something man with a receding hairline and nice eyes who was transporting me in a wheelchair that I’d told him I didn’t need, but he’d insisted on. He took a handful of x-rays of my hand in different positions before wheeling me back to my room.

  When the tech opened the door to my triage exam room, I was surprised to find my parents waiting for me. My mom wrapped me in her arms before I’d even had time to stand up. “Are you okay?” she demanded, tears shining in her chocolate-brown eyes.

  “Mom, I’m fine.” I tried to assure her but she was grasping my hand with fingers that trembled to examine it for herself.

  I bit my lip, realizing that she was so scared because this probably brought back bad memories for her of the night my biological father had taken me. She’d been in the hospital herself after having the twins when my dad and Nik had brought me
in. My face had been swollen, bloody and I’d been in the most physical pain I’d ever felt in my life. That was the night I had started calling Layla ‘Mom’. That was the night I realized how lucky I was to have her and Jesse Thornton to love and protect me.

  I glanced over her shoulder to take a look at my dad. He didn’t look like he’d just beaten some guy to death so I released a relieved sigh. When Harris had said he’d texted my dad and was letting him deal with the douchebag that had said those disgusting things to me, I was sure that the next time I saw Jesse he’d be behind bars wearing an ugly orange jumpsuit.

  When he caught my gaze his ever-changing brown eyes were full of concern. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Honest, Daddy. I’m fine.” My mom stepped back and Dad moved forward, wrapping his arms around me in a hard hug.

  When he finally released me after what felt like the longest hug in the history of hugs, he turned his eyes on Harris. “Thanks for taking care of my baby girl.” He held out his hand and Harris readily shook it. “And thanks for letting me handle the preppy.”

  “Is he still breathing?” Harris asked with a smirk.

  “Emmie wouldn’t let me touch him,” Jesse grumbled. “His nose was still bleeding and one of his eyes had swollen shut from the broken nose. But he pretty much pissed his pants when Nik and I walked in.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t take Drake and Shane with you, too, just to really scare the guy.” I sat on the small gurney and Layla took the chair Harris had been in all evening.

  “Drake and Lana have the twins,” Layla told me. “And Shane is with Harper in Paris until the weekend. Trust me, baby. Drake wanted to go, but between Lana and the girls they wouldn’t let him leave the house. You need to text him and let him know you’re okay.”