Sweet Agony (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 2) Read online

  “Good morning. Sleep well?” Picking up a dish towel, she dried her hands. “How about some scrambled eggs for breakfast? Raven said you did so well with the mashed potatoes last night that eggs would be fine today.”

  “She’s not here?” I asked hesitantly, when what I really wanted to ask was where Theo was.

  “No, it’s just me and you until I have to pick up the kids. Raven has a few things to do today.” Pulling out a carton of eggs, she walked to the stove. “So, scrambled?”

  “Y-yes please.” My voice cracked as I sat at the table.

  I didn’t need Flick to tell me Theo was gone; I could feel his absence in my soul. The sudden, overwhelming loss, the feeling like he’d abandoned me, made a joke of every time I’d told myself I hated him. Swallowing around the knot in my throat, I forced a smile for Flick as she placed the plate of eggs in front of me.

  But I wasn’t hungry, so I only picked at my food, pushing it around the plate with my fork and pretending like I was just taking my time eating. Flick snuck glances at me over her shoulder from the sink, but she didn’t comment on it, nor did she offer an explanation of where Theo was.

  Maybe she didn’t know, and that was why she didn’t talk about him. I wanted that to be the case, but instinct told me it wasn’t. Most likely, everyone who lived there knew where he was, but apparently I wasn’t special enough to be in the loop.

  Eventually, I gave up pretending to eat and tossed the food in the trash before taking my empty dish to the sink. Flick’s blue eyes were full of understanding and sympathy as she took the plate from me. “It’s nice out today. Why don’t you sit on the porch and get some sun? It will be good for you.”

  Nodding dejectedly, I walked through the house and out onto the front porch. There were no chairs, so I sat on the top step, letting the sun beat down on me as I glanced around at the other houses in the neighborhood without really seeing them.

  Why did Theo leave? Had something happened, or was he just bored? Maybe now that I was feeling better and able to move around, do things on my own, he figured he didn’t have to bother with me anymore.

  Maybe the only reason he’d come with me in the first place was because he felt guilty over the baby…

  Pain so intense it made me gasp hit me dead center, and I pressed one hand to my heart and the other to my lower abdomen. I hadn’t thought about the miscarriage since Theo told me—hadn’t allowed myself to think about the baby. Every time I did dwell on what happened, and the precious gift that had been snatched from me before I even had a chance to love my child, I pushed the thoughts back in self-defense against the pain and grief.

  But now, with Theo gone, I couldn’t hide from it any longer.

  Life had grown inside me. A baby that was equal parts Theo and me. I bet it would have been perfect, just like him. I would have loved our precious little baby, would have given it a life so much better than the one I had growing up. A life full of being showered with love and affection. My child never would have known loneliness or felt like they didn’t belong in the world. Never would they have felt as if they weren’t good enough to be loved.

  But I wasn’t ever going to get to do any of that. I would never hold my baby, never tell him or her how much I loved them, never shower them with all the love I was aching to give.

  Tears spilled from my eyes, and a sob that felt as if it were ripped from my very soul released into the quiet morning. How was it possible to survive this kind of agony? It was worse than anything I’d ever experienced. It was worse than the physical pain of being shot.

  All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and die. Maybe then the pain would stop. Maybe then I could be with the baby I’d lost.

  What was there for me here in this world anyway?

  Nothing and no one.

  Theo had left me—again. I had no family, no one who cared if I was alive or dead. Fuck, my own biological father hadn’t even wanted me, had given me away and left me to fend for myself. And now what blood I did have wanted me dead.

  There was no one who wanted me. No one who needed me.

  Maybe…

  Maybe it would be better for everyone if I was just…gone.

  There had to be a reason my own uncle wanted to wipe out my maternal bloodline. Perhaps we just weren’t worth living. Wouldn’t it be doing him a favor if I ended this madness already?

  The sound of a vehicle approaching pulled me from the torture of my dark inner thoughts. I watched as a Trinity County Sheriff’s sport utility vehicle pulled into the driveway. The SUV was turned off, and moments later, a man with short, dark hair and dressed in a police uniform stepped out.

  With shoulders practically as wide as the vehicle he’d just climbed out of and eyes a unique reddish golden-brown that took in everything as soon as he was outside, the man was both scary and intriguingly handsome. His stride was easy, like he was used to making the walk up the sidewalk to the front porch, and even though I had yet to meet him, I instantly knew this was Lexa’s husband, Ben.

  “Morning,” he greeted as he walked toward me. “You wouldn’t happen to have seen my wife by any chance, would you?”

  I shook my head. “I haven’t seen anyone but Flick today,” I told him in a voice still choked with the tears that had yet to dry on my face. Embarrassed, I scrubbed my hands across the dampness.

  “So Raven isn’t here either?” I shook my head, and he blew out a resigned sigh. “Figures. I never know what kind of trouble those two are going to get into. Hopefully I won’t have to hide a dead body this time, though.”

  He said it with a grin, but there was something in his eyes that made me wonder if he was actually joking.

  “I’m Ben, by the way. No doubt you already knew that, though.” His eyes filled with empathy as another tear spilled down my cheek. “And you’re Tavia.”

  “Th-that’s me,” I told him with a grimace.

  He dropped down onto the top step beside me, and he turned so his back was leaning against the banister. “I get why Volkov went back to New York. Whatever is going on, he wants to take care of it personally, make sure you’re safe. If it were Lexa, I’d do the same thing. Although leaving her here with her mom while I was across the country without her would be its own kind of hell.”

  My brows pinched together. It didn’t surprise me in the least that a man I’d just met knew where Theo was, and yet I hadn’t. It only pushed home all over again that I meant nothing to him. “Whatever reason Theo went back to New York, I didn’t even factor into it.”

  The sheriff’s eyes narrowed on me. “You still on those pain killers Lexa was telling me Doc prescribed for you?”

  “What?” I stared at him in bewilderment. “No, of course not. I haven’t had any pain medication in a few days now.”

  “Huh. Then you must be high on something else.”

  “I’m not high,” I snapped at him, confused as to why he thought I wasn’t lucid. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because I might not know Theo as well as Lexa does, but I do know that he’s been twisted in knots over you and what’s been going on back east.” He stood, dusting off his work pants as he descended the steps. “Give him a few days. He’ll return for you.” On the sidewalk, he paused and glanced back at me. “I need to get to work. Have to make these people think they did the right thing by voting for me. See you around, Tavia. And if you happen to come across my wife, tell her to get her sweet ass home.”

  Chapter 15

  Tavia

  After the sheriff left, I couldn’t stand to be outside. The sun felt too bright, the air too thin, the sounds of the outside world echoing in my head. Going back inside, I asked Flick if there was a computer or tablet I could borrow so I could contact my professors.

  School had only been a fleeting thought since being shot, but I couldn’t afford to lose my scholarship for nonattendance. I needed to let them know why I wasn’t showing up for my classes.

  “I think I can find you something,” she told me with
that warm, maternal, and understanding smile of hers. “Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll bring it to you.”

  I went back to my room and sat on the end of the bed, staring out the window at the sun as it slowly moved across the cloudless sky. A tap on the door was my only warning before the door opened and Flick walked in, carrying an older style iPad in her hand.

  “This is Nova’s old iPad. She has a phone now and never plays with this thing, so you can use it all you want.” Handing it over, she stepped back. “Let me know when you get hungry. We can have lunch together.”

  “Thanks, Flick,” I mumbled, and she gave me a wink before turning and leaving me alone.

  Once the door was closed behind her, I turned on the iPad and opened a browser window to check my email. I had to work through the list of things already waiting on me, mostly emails from my other clients asking if I was okay and why I hadn’t contacted them or shown up for our usual appointments.

  I figured it would be bad for business if I told them I’d been shot and there was a Russian mobster trying to kill me, so I went with a simpler excuse. I was attacked on my way to a client’s house and badly hurt. That I was only just now out of bed and able to move around. All of it was true, just not the full story, which I didn’t plan on sharing. But I apologized for not contacting them all sooner and promised I would be back on my feet soon before pleading with them not to find a new tutor to take my place.

  I would help them via email all I could, so that was a plus, and if push came to shove, I could do video conferences if needed. I couldn’t afford to lose even one client, any more than I could the loss of my full-ride scholarship.

  Once I had everyone filled in—with the exception of Sofia since I was fairly sure she already knew what was going on—I emailed my professors and gave them the same excuse, hoping they took pity on me and excused my absences without it affecting my grades or the attendance policy that would hinder my funding for the upcoming term.

  By the time I was done, I could barely keep my eyes open, and it wasn’t even noon yet. I hated being so weak, but apparently I was still recovering. All I wanted to do was sleep. Tossing the iPad aside, I crawled up the bed and slid under the covers, not even bothering to turn off the lights before letting sleep take me.

  A firm tap on my bedroom door roused me sometime later. Blinking my eyes open, I saw the sun was starting to go down, and I sat up in bed just as the door opened.

  Lexa walked in carrying four large shopping bags, one of which was from Best Buy. Grinning, she walked over to the bed and placed all the bags around me. “Sorry it took so long. The mall is about an hour away, and I had to do a little searching for all the things on Theo’s list.”

  I frowned down at the bags, then up at her. “What’s this?”

  “Presents from Theo. A new laptop for you to do all your schoolwork on, a new phone, and a few other little things.” When I just glared down at the bags, she lost her grin. “What’s wrong? You don’t like them?”

  “I don’t want any of this,” I told her, and I pushed the bags to the end of the bed without even looking at the contents. “Take them back. Keep them for yourself. Do whatever you want, but I don’t want anything from Theo.”

  “Ah, come on. Don’t be like that.” She picked up the Best Buy bag and tried to offer it to me. “It’s got everything you need. Trust me, because I had them set it up before we left the store. Theo was insistent on every last detail.”

  “Fuck Theo,” I muttered under my breath. “Look, Lexa. I don’t want to be a bitch to you, but I don’t want anything from Theo. Not his money, not his time, or anything else. Apparently I don’t even warrant a goodbye from him, so it’s obvious I don’t matter to him. And I’m not going to take things he’s only offering because he feels guilty.”

  Tossing back the covers, I got out of bed and walked toward the bathroom. “Please, just take this stuff back or keep it. Honestly, I don’t even care what you do with it. Just keep it away from me.”

  I stayed in the bathroom long after I heard Lexa leave, the rustling of the bags telling me she’d taken them with her. I didn’t know what all was in those bags other than the electronics, and I didn’t want to know.

  If Theo’s goal was to soften me up with gifts, he was miles away from hitting the mark. I didn’t want his blood money or his gifts to repent for all the sins he’d committed against me. His words of love were nothing, not that I’d believed them to begin with. But if he’d really cared about me—if he’d known me at all—he would have realized that throwing money at me was not how to show me he cared.

  Taking a deep breath, I tried to swallow down the lump that was choking me, and I walked back into the bedroom. As I did, there was a sudden noise so loud, it sounded like an explosion, and the house literally shook.

  Frightened, I ran to the window to see what had caused it.

  Looking down, I saw the back end of what looked like a late model van sticking out of the front of the house. Blinking, I looked again, sure I was dreaming. But the scene below didn’t change.

  Pounding footsteps raced up the stairs, and I didn’t have time to react as Raven and Lexa ran into the room, shutting and locking the door. Seeing a shotgun in Raven’s hands, I gulped and pressed myself back against the wall.

  “What’s going on?” I whispered.

  “They found you,” Lexa said, her voice steady as she looked out the window and then lifted it. “Hurry, this way.”

  I gaped at her as she climbed out and then reached back in to take my hand. When I didn’t move fast enough, Raven nudged me. “Hurry, Tavia. We don’t have much time.”

  Even as she was speaking, I heard more running feet, these much heavier. Quickly, I climbed through the window and out onto the roof. I’d barely gotten out when the bedroom door behind me was kicked in, and I heard two male voices speaking in rapid Russian.

  “Tavia, this way!” Lexa yelled, climbing down from the roof. “Don’t be scared. I’ll help you.”

  But the sound of a gun firing had me screaming, and I looked back to find Raven standing by the open window, the gun pointed at one of the men who was approaching her. To my surprise, there was another man at her feet, blood pouring from where half his head had been blown off.

  “Go!” Raven shouted.

  The need to go back and help her was pushed aside at her command, and with Lexa’s help, I jumped down just as I heard police sirens in the distance. Shattered glass, splintered wood, and house siding were all over the place, but Lexa didn’t even seem bothered by it as she cushioned my drop. As soon as my feet were on the ground, she took hold of my wrist and we were running.

  “Where?” I panted.

  “Aunt Willa’s,” she said as we ran.

  Less than a block later, a police cruiser skidded to a stop beside us. Ben jumped out, his eyes looking wild as he took in his wife. “I’m fine,” she told him. “Mom is still back there. Hurry.”

  With a nod, he pulled his gun and took off at a dead run. Without missing a beat, Lexa tightened her hold on my wrist, and we were running again.

  I didn’t realize Willa lived so close until we ran up the steps of a two-story house several blocks away. Lexa didn’t pause to knock, just turned the knob and pushed the front door open. “Aunt Willa! Safe room. Now.”

  “L-Lexa…”

  We both froze in the living room at the sound of that soft, musical voice. Looking up, we both sucked in a gasp when we saw a huge man standing at the top of the stairs. His arm was around Monroe’s waist, a gun pressed to her temple.

  “Hello, niece,” the man spat at me in a heavy accent.

  I hadn’t spent a lot of time analyzing Viktor Petrov’s face the one and only time I’d met him, but right away, I could see the similarities between him and this man. The same wide nose. Same jawline. Same soulless eyes.

  Out of instinct, I took a step back, but his hold on Monroe only seemed to tighten, making her whimper in pain and fright as he pressed the gun barrel harder
into her temple. I froze, scared for the girl.

  “Let her go,” I told him, stepping forward and pulling my wrist free from Lexa’s hold.

  “Gladly,” he said with a twist of his lips. “Once I have you.”

  “You won’t get far,” Lexa informed him, her tone chilled and baiting. “Even if you do leave here with Tavia, my husband won’t let you past the end of the block.”

  Adas Petrov chuckled, the sound cold and evil. “Girl, you have no clue how capable I am of getting what I want. Your husband will only end up dead if he stands in my way.”

  “Lexa… Mom. Sh-she’s…” Monroe cried out when Adas backhanded her to shut her up. The action sent her flying back on the stairs, her head hitting the step hard.

  A sudden enraged roar behind us was all the warning we had that we weren’t alone. A gun going off right beside my ear had Lexa and me dropping to the ground out of instinct. A pained grunt was followed by the heavy thud of Adas’s body falling and then rolling down the stairs.

  I felt more than heard the person behind me rush forward. They were so light on their feet, it was like they were a ghost. I lifted my head and saw a male dressed in all black, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head as he took the stairs three at a time. He bent, checking for a pulse on Monroe’s neck. I heard him mutter something, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. It took me a few seconds to realize he was speaking Italian.

  Then he was straightening and running past me again.

  Lexa and I looked at each other, both of us too stunned by what had just happened to move for a moment. Then Monroe moaned, and we were both on our feet.

  Lexa was faster than me and jumped over Adas’s body before running up the stairs to reach her cousin. I moved to where my uncle was lying on the floor, the bullet wound in his chest gushing blood out onto the carpet as he gasped for breath.