Tainted Forever Read online

  The phone went silent, and I tossed it into my purse as I jerked the door open and jumped into the driver’s seat. Groaning, I slunk down, having a good pout despite her commanding me to stop.

  Stage fright sucked. I didn’t know if I had what it took to actually get on a stage with hundreds, even thousands of people watching me. My voice wasn’t the best, and I had pretty good guitar skills. It was my songs that were the real draw, and that was where I always saw my career staying. I could write them and stay behind the scenes while someone else performed them.

  But then I got it into my head that I needed to change that, and now look where I was! I had an open offer from not just one of the biggest record labels, but the number one record label. The deal they gave Tainted Knights had been crazy huge, and people were still talking about it. The one they gave the Blonde Bombshells wasn’t nearly as big, but that was because even the music world was sexist and discriminatory. Fucking assholes.

  Yet, no matter who I ended up signing with, I still would have to go on tours. That was where the real money was.

  I sniffed, shaking my head. Like I needed the money. I was comfortable just living off the songs I’d already written and sold. I didn’t even have to touch the trust fund Carter set up for me that I gained access to when I turned eighteen. I was independent and secure financially.

  Still, I decided as I started the car several minutes later, once I was over the worst of my panic and annoyance, it would feel really good to stick it to Petrova by throwing out a crazy number and seeing if he really would give it to me.

  By the time I got to the hospital, the idea was holding more and more merit.

  Chapter 18

  Kin

  Dressed in the best outfit I had, a knee-length white dress that hugged my figure but didn’t flaunt it and a pair of strappy silver heels I’d bought with Lucy during all those hours of planning her wedding, I walked into one of the best restaurants in LA with Derrick at my side.

  He was in slate-gray dress pants and a soft yellow pastel button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, causing every female eye to turn and eat up the sight of him as he walked past them. I wasn’t unused to having the female population gawk hungrily at the man beside me. It was something that happened daily when I was with Jace. But where, with my ex, I was always consumed by jealousy, with Derrick, I was just oddly amused.

  The hostess showed us to a table with a view at the back of the restaurant, overlooking the city below. With the lights starting to come on below us and the sun beginning to set in the distance, it made for a spectacular sight.

  One that not every patron in the place was gifted a view of, I noticed. We were in a more secluded part of the restaurant, which was situated on the top floor of one of the posher buildings. The tables were spaced out more, with only three others getting the glorious view below.

  I caught my breath at the beauty as Derrick held out my chair and I dropped down, my mind already floating with lyrics to describe this moment in time.

  “This is why I bought this building,” he said, and I looked up to find his eyes on my face instead of the breathtaking view.

  “You own the whole building?”

  He nodded, glancing for a moment out the window before turning his dark gaze back on me. “I’m into real estate, but when I got a look at this view, I knew I wanted this place for myself. So I bought it and rented out the building to a few of my friends for a decent price. Which is good for me because I get to eat at this table anytime the urge strikes me.”

  Touched that he was sharing this with me, I reached across the table, touching his hand. “Thank you for bringing me here.” Stupidly, tears stung my eyes, and I hurriedly blinked them away.

  He saw them anyway, and his face dropped. “Did I do something wrong?”

  I shook my head, swallowing hard. “No. I’m just not used to… Yeah.” Sighing, I picked up my water glass, taking a moment to collect myself before giving him a smile that I hoped rivaled the setting sun. “Thank you.”

  He cleared his throat, glancing away for a moment. “They serve some of the best tequila lime chicken here,” he informed me when he finally met my gaze again. “And I have it on good authority that it’s one of your favorites.”

  The breath whooshed out of me. “Who told you that?” I half whispered, half shouted. It wasn’t common knowledge that tequila lime chicken was one of my all-time favorites. It was one of my addictions as a child that followed me into adulthood.

  His ears turned pink, but he held my gaze. “Scott told me.”

  If I’d had a mouthful of water, it would have sprayed all over his face and chest. Nothing he could have said would have ever surprised me more. “My dad knows that about me?”

  His eyes turned sad. “It hurts me that you have to question that, sweetheart.”

  I glanced down at the table, my mind a whirlwind.

  His hand caught mine, turning it over and rubbing little circles on my palm. “He and I sat down over the weekend and talked. I ripped into him about him being a shitty dad, and I told him if he and Shannon ever have kids—Lord help us all if that happens—but if they ever do, I will castrate him if he ever treats the kid like he’s treated you over the years. This was after a few shots, so I was feeling pretty good. But here’s the thing about Scott Montez. He’s a sad-ass drunk.”

  The idea of my father having more kids was kind of disturbing. He was in his fifties. Shannon was only a few years older than me, and I figured she deserved to have all the babies she wanted. It was just weird to think the father would be my dad.

  “The guy started getting all sappy, telling me about what a good baby you were, and that you never cried much. So sometimes, he would forget all about you.” Derrick grunted. “Which was when I punched him in the arm. Something my sister called to bitch at me about the next day because it left a huge bruise.”

  I wrapped my fingers around his, stopping his circle drawing, and squeezed. “I think I just fell a little in love with you.”

  He grinned, and I found myself returning it. “My bucket list is complete, then. I got the most beautiful redhead in the world to fall for me. I can die a happy man now.”

  A giggle escaped me, and I released his hand.

  “After I punched him and he whined like a little bitch, he started telling me all kinds of things about you. Like how you would get pissed at him and take your diaper off and hide it in his dresser. It was always his underwear drawer, and it was always a messy kind of diaper.”

  My cheeks flamed as red as my hair, and I covered my face in embarrassment.

  He laughed and went on. “Whenever your mom would leave you with him to run errands, you would always hide from him and only come out when he started screaming in panic.”

  “I don’t remember any of this,” I mumbled behind my fingers.

  “My favorite, though, is how one time your parents were arguing, and you ran straight at him and headbutted him right in the balls. He grabbed himself like he was remembering the pain, or maybe the pain was so bad it still lingered, from the way he described it.”

  “He deserved it, I’m sure.”

  “Agreed,” he said with a deep, throaty laugh.

  A waiter appeared, and since I hadn’t even looked at the menu yet, I just ordered the tequila lime chicken. Derrick ordered the same, along with some wine to pair with our meal. But as soon as the waiter was gone, he was back to telling me more about what my father had drunkenly confessed to him. His face turned serious, though, the amusement fading from his eyes. “Scott told me all about you, things I think surprised even him that he knew about you, Kin.”

  “Like?” I got out hoarsely.

  “The chicken, for one. The way you always made up songs, for another. You would dance around the house, making up songs so easily he even wrote a few of them down. He says he still has them. He showed me one, actually. It was old and folded up on a piece of notebook paper. I was scared to touc
h it because it looked like it was falling apart, but he read it to me, and then he started crying.”

  A lump filled my throat. “Why are you telling me this, Derrick?”

  “Because I’m not sure he ever would have told you any of this himself. Hell, sweetheart, I’m pretty sure he never meant to tell me any of this. But I’m glad he did. It tells me he loves you. Yeah, he seems to have lost his way for a while and I still want to kick his ass for that, but he cares about you, Kin.”

  It went against everything I knew about Scott to accept that, but for some reason, what Derrick was telling me was making my heart jump with hope. Maybe my dad did care. Maybe he did love me.

  “How do I know you’re telling me the truth?” I demanded, glaring at him. “Maybe you’re just making all of this up in hopes I’ll be the first to mend our fences, or whatever bullshit metaphor you want to use here. You love your sister and want her to be happy. Maybe this is just to trick me into welcoming her with opening arms.”

  He sighed heavily. “I get it. You’re stubborn, and you don’t want to believe me. But it’s the truth, honey. And as much as I love my sisters, I wouldn’t hurt you in any way just to make Shannon happy. Because, yeah, I do love them all. They’re crazy, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. But I would kill for my nieces, Kin. And you’re one of them now.”

  “Not yet,” I grumbled.

  He grinned. “As good as.”

  “Whatever.” I leaned my elbows on the table. “I want to see this song.”

  “Why would I lie about a song you made up as a kid?”

  I shrugged. “Perhaps I don’t think you’re lying about it. Maybe I just want to make sure I’ve got my copyrights taken care of and he can’t profit from it.”

  Derrick threw his head back, laughing hard and pulling others’ gazes to him. I leaned back in my chair, smiling a little myself. Begrudgingly, I believed him because I couldn’t figure out what he would have to gain by lying about anything he’d told me regarding my father.

  “Are you normally the fixer of all your family members’ problems?” I asked once the wine arrived and was poured.

  “Depends on the situation. We tend to take turns a lot. I just got lucky that this particular problem fell—almost literally—into my lap.” He winked, lifting his glass and taking a drink.

  “I’ll believe you under one condition.” His brows lifted. “I get to call you Uncle Derrick.”

  “No deal.”

  I found myself giggling for the second time that evening, and it was my turn to wink. “It was worth a try.”

  “It’s official. You are definitely one of my nieces now. You’re acting just like them.” He touched his wineglass to mine. “Welcome to the Stewart family, Kin.”

  Chapter 19

  Jace

  Hearts of Stone was the new band playing every Thursday night at First Bass. With a female lead and three guys making up the band, they didn’t necessarily have a unique look, especially with all the other mixed-gender bands out there these days. But their sound had them standing out from all the rest and was why the masses kept trying to get in for the weekly live shows.

  I stood at the banister overlooking the first floor and the stage below, taking in the crowd’s reaction to the band, rather than the band themselves. The people in the front row weren’t being rowdy or trying to get onstage like they used to do with the Blonde Bombshells, but there was no denying that most eyes in the front row were glued to the lead singer. I guess the fact that the bassist and guitarist were intimidating as fuck was enough to keep the dickheads at bay for the most part.

  Lifting my beer to my lips, I started to push away from the railing when a soft hand touched my arm. Looking down with narrowed eyes, I saw a curvy little blonde with big brown eyes gazing up at me with a coquettish smile on her Kylie Jenner-wannabe lips. She was hot, there was no way of denying that, but I wasn’t interested.

  “You’re Jace St. Charles, aren’t you?” she asked over the loudness of the music below.

  Ugh. She was already annoying me. “Last time I checked,” I told her with an irritated roll of my eyes.

  She didn’t seem to notice the shift of my eyes as she stepped in closer, crowding my personal space. “I’m Tessa—”

  “Nope.” The name alone had me walking away with a shudder. I already had all I could take with one Tessa, and her crazy ass was still locked up for what she did to my best friend. No way in hell was I touching that even if I were tempted.

  Which I wasn’t.

  The only chick I wanted was Kin, and until I fixed us, my cock wasn’t going to be seeing any action. I belonged to her. I wasn’t fucking around just because she kept saying we were broken up.

  It wasn’t surprising to find most of our usual crew sitting in the back corner. Thursday nights seemed to be our night to hang out lately. Kassa and Gray were sitting on one of the two couches, with Santana perched on Kale’s lap beside them. Across from them, Amara was sitting with Cash and Riley, while Sin had taken one of the two chairs. Ro sat on the arm of his chair, a beer in her hand as she people-watched, while Aubree and London shared the other chair across from her. They were minus a Blonde, but I thought I’d seen her earlier making out with some baseball player on my way in.

  “Have you gotten to hold Hayat yet?” Kassa asked as soon as I was close enough for her to speak without having to yell the question.

  I shook my head as I bent and leaned my forearms on the couch beside her, happy she was talking to me rather than ignoring me like she’d been doing all too often lately. “She’s too tiny. Pretty sure I would break Harris’s kid if I touched her.”

  “Kin was at the hospital when we stopped by to check on Lucy earlier,” my sister told me, her bottom lip starting to pout. “She was greedy and wouldn’t share too much. I only got to hold the baby for a few minutes before she was taking her away from me.”

  I kissed the top of her head. “Get married first, then you can start thinking about babies of your own.”

  “That’s the plan,” she assured me. “Right, babe?”

  Gray nodded. “Whatever you want, little butterfly.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes at him, but I stopped myself. Maybe I could take some pointers from the douchebag. Fuck, maybe I could take pointers from all four of my bandbrothers. They had happy relationships, even if Cash and Amara were just now getting back together after a two-month split.

  Glancing around at Sin, Cash, Kale, and even Gray, I realized that their girlfriends looked pretty damn happy. I needed to pay better attention, and maybe if I were lucky, I would figure out what Kin kept saying she needed from me.

  Because I didn’t understand what she wanted. She was my life, my entire world. Had I not shown her that? Hadn’t I always put her first, other than keeping the whole Eden thing from her?

  The scary part was, I didn’t know.

  When I getting ready to go on the summer tour the previous year, I didn’t want to leave her behind to help Lucy plan the wedding. I wanted to stay with her since she couldn’t come with me. Fuck, I nearly even said I would quit the band just so I could stay home with her.

  But she wouldn’t let me. Instead, she dried her eyes and put on a brave smile as she pushed me toward the bus.

  Wasn’t that putting her first?

  No, I realized with a sudden moment of clarity. No, that was me putting me first because I didn’t want to be without her. It had nothing to with wanting to make her happy but everything to do with my own selfishness.

  Fuck!

  “You all look cozy over here,” a deep, familiar voice said with amusement.

  Looking up, I saw Zander Brockman approaching with his wife, Annabelle. They lived in Nashville, and Annabelle took care of Emmie’s and her East Coast clients. But they’d come out for Lucy’s baby shower and stayed for business reasons regarding OtherWorld, or so Zander had told me Sunday when we had the chance to talk.

  The blonde smi
led at us as they drew closer to our group. “Mind if we join you?” she asked, her eyes meeting mine. “We just came from the hospital visiting with Lucy and thought we would stop by for a drink.”

  “Was Jesse still there hovering?” Kassa asked her with a grin.

  “Him and Dev both,” she said with a laugh. “Z tried to get Dev to go home and let the new parents relax, but he was too caught up in that new granddaughter—” She broke off, blinking. “Holy shit, Devlin Cutter is a grandfather.” She touched a hand to her chest. “Z, Harris has a baby. You realize that Mieke could make us grandparents at any time now, right?”

  “Do you want me to kill someone tonight, Anna?” he groaned. “Let’s not talk about our baby girl and grandbabies for my sanity’s sake, yeah? I’d be just fine if we didn’t have grandkids until Jaco is old enough to provide them.”

  I found another chair and pulled it over for the couple to sit. But while Annabelle sat, already pulled into conversation with the others, Zander asked me to help him bring over another round of beers for everyone. Shrugging, I followed him.

  At the bar, Nate was busy as always, so there was a wait. Zander didn’t seem to mind as he leaned back against the bar, his eyes landing on me after people-watching for a moment. That was one of the things I liked about coming to First Bass. The VIP floor was flooded with celebrities, and for the most part, everyone left each other alone. From time to time, a few people who didn’t belong upstairs got through and pretended they were allowed there, but they were fairly easy to spot because they were the ones who didn’t have any understanding of other people’s privacy.

  “Harris asked me to talk to you,” he surprised me by saying.

  “What?” I blinked at him in confusion. “Why would he do that?”

  Zander shrugged, his green and gold eyes going back to the corner of the room. He couldn’t see his wife from where we were standing, but I was sure he was imagining her in his mind. “That’s what I asked, but he just said he thought I could give you some advice. You and Kin are still broken up?”