Off-Limits Read online

  “I will, brother. I swear.” He thrust his hands into the front pockets of his pants, his eyes going to the stairs where the girls had disappeared only minutes before. “I’m glad she’s home. I’ve missed her.”

  “Me too,” I admitted and waited for his reaction.

  “You should have told her how you felt three years ago. She never would have left if you had.” Grimacing, he shook his head. “But it is what it is. You had your chance, and you blew it.”

  For a second, I was too stunned to respond. Then I grabbed him by his light-blue dress shirt and jerked him into my space. “What the fuck are you saying to me right now, Judge?”

  My friend didn’t even blink as he met my gaze. “I told you to do whatever you had to to make her stay. I meant anything. I wouldn’t have gotten in your way if you’d told her you loved her back then. All I wanted was for her to stay. She’s all I have, goddamn it. If being with you meant she stayed close so I could watch over her, then so be it.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you say that at the time, huh?” I released him, shoving him back a few steps, pissed at my friend like never before. “When you said ‘whatever,’ I didn’t think you meant…” I thrust my hands into my hair, hating him in that moment. “How did you even know how I felt about her? I made sure to never let you see.”

  He snorted. “I’m not blind. The agony on your face every time she’s close to you is hard not to notice. But you fucked it all up, man. Because if you didn’t have the guts to take what you wanted back then and convince her to stay, you don’t deserve another chance now.”

  “Fuck you, Judge. I thought I would lose you and the Underground if I chose her.”

  He clenched his jaw, and he was the one to get in my face this time. “When you love someone, you risk it all. No matter the consequences. Loving a woman means she comes first. Over everything and everyone else. You failed, Howler. You proved to me that what you feel for my baby sister isn’t strong enough.”

  “Get out before I do something I can’t take back,” I snarled at him, putting the length of the room between us. “Because I’m about to fucking kill you, Judge.”

  “Sucks, doesn’t it?” he asked over his shoulder as he walked toward the door. “Knowing you were so close, and now you’ll never get the girl.”

  “Who the hell said I wasn’t going to get her?” I muttered as the door closed behind him.

  I waited until I heard his car start and him driving away before I climbed the stairs. From the bathroom across from Josie’s bedroom came the sounds of my daughter giggling. I paused in the open doorway, watching as Lyla lifted a handful of bubbles and placed them on Josie’s head.

  “Very pretty,” Lyla said with a laugh. “Now, how about a bubble beard?”

  “Like Barrick’s?”

  “Of course. If one must have a beard, then it must be perfection, just like Barrick’s.”

  I watched the two of them for a moment, everything inside me aching. I could have had this every night for the last three years if I hadn’t been so worried about losing everything else. Josie would have been happier, and fuck knows, I would have been too.

  Judge was right. I didn’t deserve a second chance because I hadn’t been brave enough back then to fight for Lyla.

  But that changed, starting now.

  I would fight for her and lose everything—except for Josie—if I had to. Fuck the consequences.

  Lyla was mine.

  It was time everyone knew that.

  Chapter 3

  Lyla

  A heavy, warm hand touching my back had me snapping my eyes open as I jolted awake. Instinctively, my arms tightened around Josie, who was sound asleep curled up against me.

  After her bath, I’d lain down on her bed to read her a book, but halfway through it, she’d started dozing off. By the time I was finished, she was snoring lightly, one of her little arms tossed over my middle. I’d been so comfortable and so damn reluctant to leave her, even to go down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms, that I’d let sleep take me right there in Josie’s little twin princess bed.

  Howler’s scent hit me before his voice reached my ears. “Just making you more comfortable, baby,” he murmured before scooping me up into his arms and carrying me out of his daughter’s room.

  “I was comfortable,” I told him when the door was closed behind him and I didn’t have to worry about waking Josie.

  “For the moment, you were. Ten more minutes and Josie would have started tossing and turning like she does every night. Then you would have been thanking me.” He walked down the hall, in the opposite direction of the guest rooms.

  “Wait, where are you going?” I demanded just as he opened the last door on the left. Walking in, he flipped the light switch with his elbow then kicked the door shut.

  Blinking rapidly to get my eyes to adjust, I glanced around. The king-sized bed in the middle of the room caught my attention first. The dark tones of the pillowcases and duvet went well with the color of the walls. Nightstands stood on either side of the bed, with a lamp on each.

  I guessed Howler slept on the left side of the bed because that was where the alarm clock was, along with a picture of him and Josie, both of them grinning at the camera, looking so much alike it made my heart clench.

  “This is your room,” I stated just as he placed me on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers back.

  “Yup.” Kicking off his shoes, he pulled his shirt over his head on his way to the connecting bathroom.

  “Howler,” I called after him, trying and failing to keep my eyes off his toned back.

  “Yeah, babe?” he said over his shoulder, not turning around. He disappeared into the bathroom, and a moment later, I heard the shower turn on.

  “Did you take something?” Getting to my feet, I followed him to the bathroom door and stopped, my mouth drying out at the same time my panties became drenched. I should have looked away, but I just couldn’t bring myself to.

  Not when he was standing completely naked beside the shower. His back was still to me, but fuck, his ass was the thing all my wet dreams were made of. My body suddenly felt like it was lit on fire as an ache began to throb between my legs. Pressing my thighs together, I tried to relieve some of the pain just looking at him was causing, but it did nothing to solve my problem.

  He started to turn, and I knew I wouldn’t survive so much as a peek at the front view. Turning away, I practically sprinted for the bedroom door.

  I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t fair that he’d even teased me with something he would never willingly give. The bastard was tempting me with a dream I couldn’t have. I didn’t know whether to scream or cry.

  Just as my fingers touched the knob, I was pressed up against the door. Howler’s breath caressed my neck as he snaked his arms around my waist, locking me against his body as he pressed his front into my back, pinning me in place.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he husked at my ear.

  “O-one of the guest rooms.” I gulped, trying to fight the breathlessness feeling his nakedness pressing into me was causing. “You’re an asshole for bringing me in here when you know good and fucking well you won’t—”

  “Won’t what?” he growled, kissing my neck before sinking his teeth into my flesh. “Won’t touch you? Won’t give you what your body is screaming for right now? Won’t fuck you until neither of us can think straight?”

  “All of the above,” I gasped, arching my neck, silently begging for him to bite me again.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, baby. Because as soon as I get this sweat off me, I’m going to crawl into that bed beside you and eat this pussy.” He cupped my sex through my yoga pants and panties, groaning when he felt how wet I was. “I’m going to devour every drop of cream you’ve got to give me until you’re writhing under my tongue. And then I’m going to put my cock right here.” He pressed two fingers up into me through my clothes, circling them around my opening, making me moan and shudder against him. “You want that, don’t you, Lyla baby?”

  Helplessly, I nodded.

  “Give me five minutes,” he pleaded, kissing my shoulder. “And then I’ll put us both out of our misery.”

  “I…” I licked my dry lips and moaned when I felt his cock flex against my hip. “I need a shower too. I was working out with Braxton earlier.”

  “You want to shower with me?”

  “Honestly, I just want you to put your cock in me right now,” I panted. “Up against this door, on the bed. I don’t care where, as long as you are inside me. Now.”

  “I need to take my time with you,” he muttered, kissing his way up my neck. “Don’t want to hurt you, baby.”

  “You won’t,” I assured him, unable to keep the desperation out of my voice. Pressing back into him, I rocked my hips against his hard-on.

  “But…” His fingers bit into my pelvic bone. “Your first time should be memorable.”

  “Our first time together will be, I swear. Please, Howler.”

  “No, I mean your first time, Lyla.” His nose nuzzled my ear. “I’m harder than I can ever remember being. I don’t want to hurt you when—”

  My entire body went stiff, and I turned my head as far as possible so I could look at him over my shoulder. “Howler, do you think I’m a virgin?”

  “Of course, you’re a virgin. No way you would let anyone but me touch you.”

  Covering his hands, I pulled them off me and then turned so I could push him back. Surprised, he took two steps, his eyes narrowing on me as I glared up at him. “Here’s the thing, Graham,” I bit out, causing him to flinch at the use of his real name. “I got tired of you breaking my heart over and over again. Last Christmas, when you turned
me down yet again, I went back to work after the winter break, and I gave my virginity to the first guy who was interested.”

  His face lost all color as his eyes shone with hurt so intense, it made me feel physically ill. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Lyla? Because this joke is not funny.”

  “What isn’t funny is having you blow hot and cold every two seconds. One minute, you look at me like I’m your entire world. The next, you can’t run fast enough to get away from me.” Tears burned my eyes, but I didn’t try to hold them back. “And I am sick of it. I don’t know what changed tonight, but I really don’t trust you to wake up tomorrow and not freak out because, in your mind, we can’t be together.”

  “That won’t happen,” he swore, taking a step toward me with his hand outstretched.

  But I reached behind me and opened the door. “I know it won’t. Because I won’t let it.”

  “Lyla, just wait a second,” he implored. “Let me tell you—”

  “I’m not interested in whatever you have to say, Howler.”

  I backed through the door, keeping my gaze on his face because if I looked any lower, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my focus. Or the resolve not to let what was about to happen continue. His being upset that I wasn’t a virgin had saved me plenty of regrets come morning. I should have been thankful. Instead, my heart was aching too badly to be grateful.

  Chapter 4

  Lyla

  Josie went to school the next morning, despite both her dad and me trying to talk her out of it. I wanted her to see a therapist as soon as possible, get her started on the road to mental recovery after being abused by her mother. But she cried because she wanted to see her teacher and friends, so I didn’t push.

  Howler and I walked her in, and he pulled her teacher to the side to discuss the current situation and to make sure the woman knew not to let Gwen try to pick up Josie. Once he was satisfied no one would release his daughter to her mother or anyone else except him or me, he drove me to campus.

  Neither of us spoke on the drive, but I could feel his gaze on me every few seconds. I kept my eyes focused out the passenger side window. For once, I had nothing to say. Not about what happened the night before, not the past, and definitely not about the future.

  The hurt on his face when I’d told him I’d given my virginity to someone else had hit me the wrong way. I hated that I hurt him, but I hated him for pushing me away over the years.

  My first time hadn’t even been all that great. For one, part of me felt guilty, like I’d cheated on Howler, even though that was ridiculous. He’d been having sex with anyone who would willingly spread their legs for him for years. By the laws of whatever the fuck this was between us, if I’d cheated on him by giving up my virginity to some random guy, then he’d cheated on me hundreds of times.

  He had no damn right to be mad or hurt over what I’d done.

  “What time is your class over?” he finally asked less than a block from campus, his voice sounding hoarse from disuse.

  “My last class ends at three.” I pulled out my phone, texting Mia to see if she wanted to grab some coffee. No doubt one or both of my cousins would be joining us, but I didn’t care to vent in front of them. Barrick already knew about my misadventure in hooking up after Christmas break, and Braxton wouldn’t judge me. But I needed to talk to Mia, get perspective on all of this from another female.

  “I’ll pick you up then, and we can get Josie together.”

  “Is that a suggestion or a command?” I asked, keeping my tone neutral while not moving my gaze from my phone’s screen.

  “Fuck, Lyla. Don’t be like this. I messed up last night. Trust me, I know that. But we need to talk. Seriously talk, not just brush over what happened.” The SUV came to a stop, and he put it in park before unbuckling his seat belt and leaning toward me. Cupping the side of my face, he turned my head so I was looking straight at him instead of out of the corner of my eye. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  He stroked his thumb over my cheek, and it felt so damn good, my lashes started to lower in pleasure. But before I could give in fully, I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door, getting away from him as quickly as I could before my heart took over and vetoed all of the smart things my brain was telling it.

  “See you at three,” I gritted out before slamming the door shut.

  I still had to go to my dorm to get my books and then get to my first class of the day. While I was there, I grabbed my laptop and iPad as well, so I wouldn’t have to make a return trip for them. I didn’t know how long I was going to stay at Howler’s, but I didn’t want to rush it. If Josie needed me, then I would stay.

  Even though being so close to her dad was torture, I would do it, just for her.

  After my first class, I walked across campus to the café. Mia and Braxton were already there, coffees in hand while Brax devoured some kind of coffee cake that looked so good, my stomach growled.

  Mia pushed a second slice and a cup of coffee my way with a wink, already knowing me so well that she’d guessed I would want a piece for myself.

  Braxton dropped his fork onto his plate and wiped his mouth on a napkin before pinning me in place with his all-seeing dark eyes. “Mia said you need to vent. So, vent. We’re all ears.”

  Mia elbowed him in the side. “Cool your jets, Captain Sensitive. Let the girl breathe first.”

  I took a sip of my coffee, sighing in pleasure that it was made perfectly. The taste lightened my mood somewhat, and I picked up my fork, digging into my afternoon snack. “Howler and I almost hooked up last night,” I announced around the bite of delicious cake.

  Mia didn’t even blink, but Braxton strangled on the mouthful of coffee he’d just taken. Without looking at him, Mia pounded him on the back. “She said almost, Brax. Gods, relax a little.”

  “I wouldn’t have cared if they had hooked up,” he rasped, wiping his mouth. “It’s that Howler had the balls to touch her that surprises the hell out of me. Dude is a killer in the cage, but when it comes to Lyla, he’s a total chickenshit.”

  I pointed my fork at my younger cousin. “Truth,” I agreed before taking another bite.

  “Whatever,” Mia grumbled. “So, tell us what happened and why it was an ‘almost hookup’ rather than an actual hookup.”

  Washing down the bite of cake with another sip of coffee, I told them about what had gone down and why things had gotten so messed up. Mia wasn’t surprised when I admitted to hooking up with some guy right after Christmas, but Braxton was speechless for a moment.

  “I’m kind of shocked, Lyla,” he muttered with a shake of his head. “Seriously, I didn’t think you would ever let any guy that close but Howler. I’m not judging. It’s just that you’ve been in love with him since you were like fifteen or sixteen, and you never even looked at another guy in all that time.”

  No longer hungry, I pushed my half-eaten cake his way. Immediately, he grabbed the fork and started shoveling it into his mouth. “When I was home for Christmas break, Howler and I had a moment one night while I was visiting with Jo-Jo. But true to Howler form, he backed off before he could even kiss me. It pissed me off, and yeah, I’ll admit it stung like a motherfucker. So, as soon as I got back to school, I decided enough was enough and went to a party, intent on hooking up and losing my V-card.”

  “Hey, it’s yours to give to whomever you want,” Mia said. “Howler lost his chance.”

  “Yeah,” I muttered, frowning down at my cup of coffee. “So, why do I feel like I cheated on him?”

  “Because you love the dumb bastard,” Braxton told me with a grim shake of his head.

  “I’m not denying that. I’m just so confused right now.”

  “What are you confused about?” Barrick asked as he dropped down into the chair beside Mia. Without missing a beat, he kissed her on the forehead and picked up her coffee. Taking a swallow, he leaned back, studying me. “You need me to kick someone’s ass?”

  I snorted. “I can kick anyone’s ass who needs it, thanks.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I scooted my chair back and stood. “Mia and Brax can fill you in. I’ve got a class to get to.”