The Rocker That Holds Me Read online

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  I woke with a warm body wrapped around me. It wasn’t unusual for me to sleep in the same bed with one of the guys. When you live on a bus you sleep where you can. I knew who it was by the breath on the back of my neck. Jesse was a mouth breather. Yawning I moved until I was sitting up. He didn’t even move. His arms fell back on the sofa beside of him and I stood, trying to stretch some of the kinks from my tired muscles.

  When I glanced down at my friend my heart melted a little. He, like the rest of my guys, loved me more than anything in the world. And I loved him just as much. Smiling I picked up a throw from the chair against the opposite wall and draped it over him before bending to brush a kiss over his brow.

  The bus was still moving and I knew I should get some more sleep. There wouldn’t be time for a nap once we got into Galveston. It will be nothing but rushing from the moment we stopped. My stomach was thankfully cooperating with me and I didn’t have to fight with the urge to vomit. So I walked through the sleeping quarters, where the two sets of bunk beds were pressed against opposite walls.

  Shane was muttering in his sleep, his favorite Gibson clutched in his arms like a child with a stuffed animal. On the bottom bunk his brother was out of it. I checked to make sure that he didn’t have an open bottle of liquor and then pulled the covers up over Drake’s bare back. I worried about Drake the most. No one ever talked about his reasons for needing to drink away the past. We all knew what his demons were. And we all knew that until he was ready there was nothing we could do but watch over him. The two times that we had talked him into rehab hadn’t ended well.

  I found Nik asleep in my usual place at the front of the bus. He was laying on his stomach with my pillow hugged tight and my favorite blanket over his waist. Why was he sleeping up here? He hated the front of the bus because the windows weren’t as tinted and let in too much light during the day. But there he was, drooling all over my pillow and hogging my couch.

  With a sigh I pushed at his shoulders, making him turn over so that I could climb in beside of him. He didn’t even protest as I snuggled close to his naked chest and pillowed my head on his chest. I inhaled his clean, completely unique Nik smell and closed my eyes. This was as close to paradise as I would ever get.

  Soft warm lips brushed across my forehead and his strong arms wrapped around me pulling me closer against his chest. “You don’t know how happy you just made me.” He mumbled.

  But I was already half asleep, safe in the arms of the man who owned me body and soul.

  Chapter 5

  Tonight is the last concert. I’m anxious to get it over with. I feel like death warmed over, and today I have been the biggest bitch with mood swings that boarder on bi-polar. After looking all my symptoms up on line I was sure that I had a brain tumor. That has only added to my already raging anxiety.

  My guys are all out on stage with lights bouncing and flashing along to the beat of the music. The crowd is still going crazy. At the opening of the concert Nik had promised them all one of the new songs that he was working on. One that he swore was going to be on their next album. It had surprised the hell out me and the rest of the guys that was for sure. I was sure that if Rich was here he would have had a coronary…But I was okay with that happening.

  I stood just out of sight on the stage, torturing myself by watching girls throw their panties and bras at Nik. He was handling it all like he usually does, with a grin and seductive looks at the audience. I just wanted this night to be over!

  Someone bumped their shoulder against mine and I turned to glare at the person, ready to bite their head off and spite down their throat. Then I saw who it was I rolled my eyes. “Hey. What the hell are you doing here?”

  Axton Cage shrugged his lean shoulders. He had a new tattoo I noticed, on the inside of his left wrist. I nearly gagged when I saw what it said.Brie. “So you two are official?” I nodded my head at his wrist and he shrugged.

  “Still working on it.” He informed me. He knew that I wasn’t the biggest fan of Gabriella Moreitti. Hated the bitch really. Little miss goody-goody. She disliked me just as much. Shane said it was because we were too much alike. I thought it was because the hoe had slept with Nik when we were touring in Australia and then took pleasure in telling me about it. Of course that had been more than a year ago and she was now with Axton. At least they were on and off again.

  “I was in the area.” Axton finally answered my originally question. “Actually I was bored as hell in California and thought I would see what kind of trouble I could get into with your dumb ass friends.”

  “By all means, get into all the trouble your little heart desires. But we have a plane to catch first thing in the morning. Make me late for my vacation and they will be scraping your entrails from the sidewalk.”

  His arm wrapped around my waist and I leaned into him. “Ah, come on beautiful. You know you want to cause some trouble with me.” He rubbed his nose with mine making me giggle. “You love me. Admit it.”

  I snorted. “I hate you.” But I had to admit that even with my feelings for Nik, Axton Cage could make me breathless. So I let him kiss me. He tasted of mint and a hint of coffee. My lips tingled and I opened my mouth just a little to let him taste me. I couldn’t honestly say that I was unaffected, but I wasn’t rushing to get him naked. When he stepped back a little I sighed. “Okay, so I’m not immune.” But then I doubted that any woman with a working libido was.

  He chuckled and released me. “Touring with you is going to be so much fun.”

  I grimaced. “Is the bitch troll coming?”

  “It is a big possibility. Depends on how things are going with her family though. Alexis is having a hard time right now.”

  My heart clenched a little at the thought of Gabriella’s cousin Alexis. The woman had been through a lot over the past year or so. She had been in a car wreck that had nearly destroyed her. But she was tough. She had fought to walk again. Then gone through a huge ordeal with her boyfriend, which the tabloids had gone crazy over because of Jared Giordano and his past relationship with his brother’s wife. “How is she?” I asked, because while I hated Gabriella, I had connected with Alexis the few times I had met her.

  “She’s pregnant.”

  To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. After the accident doctors had told Alexis that she would never have a baby. “How is that even possible?”

  Axton shrugged. “I’m not really sure. But Brie said that they did an ultrasound and it seems like they only took out part of her uterus. You can imagine how happy and stressed the girl is. Her doctors have her on bed rest because she started bleeding a little last week. Brie doesn’t want to leave her.”

  “Well give her my best. I’m really happy for her.” Out on stage the crowd was quieting down and I turned to find Nik sitting on a stool. Drake pulled up one too and pulled out his acoustic guitar.

  “Okay. Like promised this is the song I have been slaving over for the last few weeks. Hope you guys like it.” Was it me or did he seem a little nervous? That was crazy though. Nik had been singing his own songs since Demon’s Wings second album when he had written every song and it went platinum in less than a week. The record company had given him carte blanche ever since. There was no reason for him to be nervous about his songs.

  Demon’s Wings were not known for love songs. That wasn’t to say that some of their hits wasn’t about love, but normally those songs were more about sex than real love. So you can understand how surprised I was when Nik started singing.

  I thought my heart was going to shatter. Nik wrote from experience. There was a lot of his childhood in his songs. His, the guys, mine. His music has always been close to us all. The dark, the pain, the drugs, and even the beatings. But when Nik sang about how his heart had been cold for so long, but now there was an ember burning there catching fire, bringing him back to life I thought I was going to die.

  Nik was in love? I don’t think I could handle that. No. No, I know that I can’
t handle that. He can screw around all he wants. He can have all the one-night stands, the meaningless sexy with random strangers. I was able to deal with that…Okay, so I was hanging on by my finger nails trying to deal with that.

  But if Nik was in love it would destroy me. I couldn’t handle him with some skank all the time. And knowing that his heart belonged to that skank?

  I swayed. Axton’s arms came around me, steading me. “Easy there, babe.”

  The bile was rising in the back of my throat. Turning I ran. I knew I wasn’t going to make it to a bathroom, so I desperately looked for a trashcan. Thankfully one was close or I would have had to clean up after myself again. I emptied my stomach, not that there was much in there anyway. Thankfully my hair was pulled into a ponytail.

  A warm hand rubbed my back soothingly. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Up until now I had thought that I was dying. Now…Now I hoped I would!

  “Jesus Christ!” Axton muttered. “You okay, babe?”

  “I just want to lay down.” I whispered. “I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

  “Come on.” He urged. “I’ll take you back to your hotel.”

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  The world was spinning. As soon as the car pulled up in front of the hotel where we were staying I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble. I threw open the door and retched until I thought my stomach was going to come out my mouth. My body was soaked in sweat and I don’t know if I could walk without falling on my face.

  Axton muttered a string of vile curses and barked something at the doorman who was holding the door open for me. It took me a second to register that the poor guy was pushing me back into Axton’s rental and shutting the door. I barely had the energy to open my eyes as I watched the rocker punch in something on the GPS and then he was hauling ass.

  The tires screeched as he pulled into traffic. Horns honked angrily behind us, but I didn’t look back. At the speed we were going I was sure that he was going to get pulled over, but he just hit the hazard lights and pushed down on the horn as he weaved in and out of traffic. “Hold on, Em.” He muttered.

  I couldn’t answer. The world was blurry now. By the time he slammed to a stop in front of the ER I could barely function. I felt him lift me out of the car, knew that he was practically running with me in his arms. I felt his chest rumbled when he shouted, but couldn’t focus enough to make out what he was saying.

  The coolness of a bed against my back roused me enough to open my eyes for just a moment. I saw bright lights, the smell of antiseptic. “Severe dehydration.” A male voice said. “How long has she been throwing up?”

  “No idea.” Axton sounded stressed.

  “Wait here.” The voice commanded. I felt myself floating, assumed it was the medical team pushing the bed away. A needle was stabbed into my arm, but I didn’t have the energy to so much as whimper. “Emmie?” The voice said my name in a commanding tone. “We’re giving you fluids.”

  There was another needle in my arm. “Just taking some blood, dear.” A female voice this time. It was gentle and kind. I have never had another female speak so nicely to me. I was sure that if I had the spare water I would have cried.

  The man with the commanding voice had his hand on my wrist. He held it there for several long minutes. By that time the fluids that they were pumping into me were starting to revive me. Slowly I blinked open my eyes. “I hate doctors.” I whispered.

  The doctor, a disturbingly good looking man with short dark hair and big chocolate eyes grinned down at me. “That’s too bad. I’m actually a decent sort of guy.”

  Despite how incredibly horrible I felt a smile teased at my lips. “I’ll take your word on that.”

  The doctor released my arm. “You are a very sick young woman. How long have you been throwing up?”

  My mind was still foggy, but I tried to determine how long it had been. “A month, I think.”

  The doctor’s eyes widen. “Have you seen a doctor before now?” I shook my head and saw him shake his exceptionally cute head in exasperation. “No wonder you were so dehydrated. Have you been able to eat at all?”

  “Not really.”

  “What about fluids? Water, Gatorade?” Again with the shake of my head. He sighed. “You really do hate doctors, huh? If you have been this sick and refused to seek help. It’s a good thing your boyfriend brought you in when he did. Any longer and you could have died from dehydration.”

  “Boyfriend?” Who the hell was my boyfriend? Was this doctor crazy? If my guys even thought I had a boyfriend they would go apeshit. A man had to have more balls than brains if he thought that any member of Demon’s Wings would let him near me. Sometimes you would think I was sixteen and not twenty-one when it came to how they acted when a guy looked twice at me.

  “The scary guy with the tattoos.” He nodded over his head and I saw Axton standing by the door, trying to peek in. He had his phone to his ear and was frowning.

  Another smile teased my mouth. “Ax isn’t my boyfriend. My guys would so break his legs if they even thought he was.”

  “Your guys?” The doctor cocked a brow at that.

  “Never mind.” I muttered. It was hard to explain my guys and I didn’t have the energy to even try. My eyes were feeling heavy. “Hurry up and make me better so that I can get back to the hotel. I want to go to sleep.”

  “You aren’t going anywhere until at least tomorrow, Em. We have to run some tests, get lots more fluids in you and maybe—that’s a big maybe—you will get to go home in the morning. Until then let me get your blood work back and find you a room.”

  My head snapped up. “But I have a plane to catch to Florida in the morning. I’m going on vacation.”

  Again with that damned raised brow. “By the looks of it you are long overdue for a vacation, sweetheart. Now relax. You’re heart monitor is going crazy.” That’s when I felt the sticky pads stuck to my chest and noticed the constant beep, beep, beeping in the background.

  Axton came into the room. “I can’t get anyone to answer their damn phones.” He growled. “That damn concert should already be over.”

  I let out a humorless laugh. “You’re a rock star Axton. What is the first thing you want to do when you get off the stage, high on your own ego?” The expression on his face told me what that answer was. “Don’t worry about it. They will go back to the hotel and have a hell of a night. When they wake up at noon and wonder why I haven’t come to drag their asses out of bed they will come looking for me.”

  His eyes darkened with anger. “So you are just an afterthought?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “After a concert, normally.” It didn’t bother me…Much. But I wasn’t going to complain. I knew that they loved me. I glanced at the doctor. “How about checking on those tests?”

  The doctor glanced at Axton. “Is she always this bossy?”

  He snorted. “If you knew the guys she has to take care of on a daily basis you would understand that you are getting the nice version of bossy.”

  Chapter 6

  The doctor was taking his time!

  With the continued fluids rushing into my system I was starting to feel better than I had in a long time. But my stomach was still rolling. I wanted to know what was taking the doctor so long, and worried that it was something beyond my wildest imaginations that was wrong with me.

  Axton was still trying to call the guys. But so far hadn’t been able to reach any of them. A nurse had told him he had to go outside to use his cellphone, and I haven’t seen him in more than ten minutes. My butt was going numb from sitting for a solid hour without moving and even though I desperately wanted a nap, I couldn’t bring myself to relax enough to do so.

  The door to my exam room opened and in walked the doctor. There was a tech behind him pushing a huge machine and I wondered what the hell they were going to do to me. Seeing the fear in my eyes the doctor was quick to explain. “It’s okay. This is just something to do an ultrasound with.”

  “Why do I need an ultrasound? Isn
’t that for pregnant women?”

  The doctor nodded. “Mostly, yes. But it is used for other things. However, after getting back your blood results we have found the reason for your sickness and need to do a little exploring.”

  My blood seemed to freeze in my veins. He knew what was wrong with me. I was terrified of the answer but needed to know. “So what is the matter? What’s wrong with me?”

  He shrugged. “Nothing that won’t clear itself up in due course.” He smiled. “It seems that you are pregnant.”

  I was sure that I was hallucinating. He couldn’t have just said that I was pregnant. No. No. NO! I shook my head frantically. “That can’t be it. Check again. The tests are wrong.”

  The doctor frowned at my reaction but spoke in a soothing voice. “Let’s do an ultrasound. That way we can determine if the blood work was wrong. And if it wasn’t we can give you a due date.”

  The heart monitor attached to my chest was going berserk. My heart was racing with my fear, dread, anxiety. It had to be wrong. It just had to be. Please, let it be wrong. Because if it wasn’t wrong my life with the guys will be destroyed. They will never trust me again. “Okay.” It came out wobbly, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

  The tech came up to the right side of the bed and smiled down at me while the doctor dimmed the lights. “When was your last period dear?” She asked softly. She was pretty, probably in her late thirties. There was a huge rock on her ring finger and a slight bump under her scrubs telling me that she was pregnant herself.

  I tried to remember when my last period was. I wasn’t the most regular of women. And I haven’t really cared about tracking it. My life was so busy that when it showed up I just shrugged and went on with my life. If it didn’t it wasn’t a big deal. Finally I gave up. “I have never been regular.” I told her honestly. “I can’t remember when I last had one.”